By: John Easton, SFU Student
If there’s one thing the red-pilled manosphere has managed to do with stunning efficiency, it’s strip sex of its joy, intimacy, and social complexity. According to the worldview, sex is nothing more than a transactional function of evolutionary biology, the linchpin of a so-called “sexual marketplace” where men and women exist in rigid, pseudo-economic roles. Women, they argue, seek out “Alpha men” for genetic superiority while cruelly exploiting “Beta men” for financial security. As an international network of online communities, the manosphere has had a global negative influence on our generation’s men and the way we approach sex. It’s a bleak, joyless vision of human relationships — one that not only distorts reality, but also deceives men into actively sabotaging their sexual experiences or stops them from happening at all.
The quote from The Matrix pretty much sums up the basis of red-pilled perspectives: “You take the blue pill — the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill — you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” In the manosphere, “harsh reality” refers to the belief that feminism is actually thinly-veiled female supremacy. At the core of the red-pilled ideology is the notion that attraction and relationships are dictated by an economy of sexual value, and since women have the choice to deny your advances, they have “full control.” In this twisted view, straight women are seen as hypergamous gold-diggers seeking the best possible deal, while men are victims at the whim of their affections — this is where the modern sentiment of “nice guys finish last” comes from. The truth is that most of these men aren’t nice.
“The problem is not women — it’s the rigid ideology that keeps these men trapped in resentment believing they are owed something which they have to earn.”
Within the manosphere, gender is understood to be performative in a social and cultural context specifically to attract a mate. Except, these “Alpha men” don’t perform masculinity for women. The hyper-masculine personas that they outwardly display are inherently to impress and receive validation from other men. What can I say? I’m not impressed. I’ve been asked how I “got” a girlfriend many times, and they never believe when I say that treating women like people is the absolute bare minimum. Anything remotely having to do with feelings is an invalid answer. Rather than listen to women or “Beta men,” they are essentially groomed by influencers who convince them that women are objects to compete for. The insistence on seeing it as a power struggle does nothing but drain sex of its organic spontaneity and mutual enjoyment. As one writer put it, “More than lust or hatred, the boys of The Red Pill hunger for clarity. They desire escape from confusion. They desire a system with which to comprehend desire itself.” But, in attempting to impose a rigid system, they end up losing the very thing they seek: understanding.
The Alpha/Beta dichotomy is both pseudo-scientific and self-defeating. Based on a complete misapplication of evolutionary psychology, the idea that women seek out dominant “Alpha” men ignores the massive diversity in what people find attractive and endorses harmful misogynistic behaviour. The problem is not women — it’s the rigid ideology that keeps these men trapped in resentment believing they are owed something which they have to earn. Nonetheless, this perspective dehumanizes men and women, alienating them from each other further and promoting isolation even in established relationships (if it even gets that far).
The red-pilled approach to sex doesn’t just misrepresent the dynamics between men and women, it actively poisons any chance at experiencing sex as something rich, fulfilling, and deeply human. If you want to have better relationships, better sex, and a better understanding of attraction, the manosphere is the perfect place to let those aspirations die.
