Go back

A guide to winning the armrest on airplanes

HumourTop Humour
Peak Web
Peak Web
2 min.
0
1152
PHOTO: Aayush Shah / Pexels

By: Cam Darting, Peak Associate

High school history class focused on all sorts of armed conflicts. It taught us about the French Revolution, the World Wars, and more. However, they failed to teach us about one ongoing war that impacts people daily: the war for the armrest on the airplane.

Whether you get to rest your light and fragile arm on that hard plastic armrest can dictate your mood for not only the flight but the entire trip. You don’t wanna be sad walking around Hongdae looking for BTS because of a tired forearm, do you? Let me help you answer that: ANIYO! As a veteran of the war of armrests on an airplane, I am here at your Beck and call, almost like a Cat, to guide you through this battle and come out Victorious! (see what I did there;))

Like every war, you need to come prepared for battle. It is KEY to show up in a puffer jacket. Not only will it keep you warm from the harsh airplane air conditioning blasting from above like a puss-filled pimple being popped, but your puffiness will increase your volume. As a result, your puffer’s fabric reaches over to your neighbour’s personal space, making the person next to you feel uncomfortable, resulting in them leaning to the opposite side. You may think that is selfish, but I think it’s just a form of self care, and self care is never seen as bad in the eyes of Gen Z. 

Next, try and get your ass to your seat ASAP. You better be the first person to enter that airplane because positions matter. Being the top or bottom . . . of the line matters (get your mind out of the gutter). Being the first in your row to sit down gives your puffer more time to expand and take up square footage. 

Now, for the battle itself. This is where tensions get high, and people’s true colours show. You need to be fierce. You need to be cut-throat. You need to instantly place your elbow on that damn armrest. If you follow the two steps outlined above, the next piece of advice won’t be needed. 

If you find that your neighbour has taken the armrest first, you need to act fast. How? Push their arm off and place yours down like the princess it is. They’re mad? Don’t care. They’re upset? Not your problem. They call the flight attendant? Ignore their ass. You need to do whatever it takes for your pretty little arm to be resting. BTS is counting on you. I am counting on you.

Was this article helpful?
0
0

Leave a Reply

Block title

New immunotherapy treatment provides hope for aggressive cancer

News Peak Web -
By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy are often recognized as the three most common forms of cancer treatment. Sometimes, the latter two approaches become no longer effective when cancers become drug resistant, allowing the cells to further spread. At the University of Calgary, however, promising developments in immunotherapy intervention seek to provide alternative treatment when common therapies are not viable.  Cells continually divide to replenish dying cells, but certain gene mutations can create cancer cells, which divide and spread in an uncontrolled manner. The human body naturally defends itself from cancerous cells, though sometimes they can “hide from the immune system and avoid being destroyed,” according to the Canadian Cancer Society. Immunotherapy seeks to help strengthen the ability to recognize and fight...

Read Next

Block title

New immunotherapy treatment provides hope for aggressive cancer

News Peak Web -
By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy are often recognized as the three most common forms of cancer treatment. Sometimes, the latter two approaches become no longer effective when cancers become drug resistant, allowing the cells to further spread. At the University of Calgary, however, promising developments in immunotherapy intervention seek to provide alternative treatment when common therapies are not viable.  Cells continually divide to replenish dying cells, but certain gene mutations can create cancer cells, which divide and spread in an uncontrolled manner. The human body naturally defends itself from cancerous cells, though sometimes they can “hide from the immune system and avoid being destroyed,” according to the Canadian Cancer Society. Immunotherapy seeks to help strengthen the ability to recognize and fight...

Block title

New immunotherapy treatment provides hope for aggressive cancer

News Peak Web -
By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik, News Writer Surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation therapy are often recognized as the three most common forms of cancer treatment. Sometimes, the latter two approaches become no longer effective when cancers become drug resistant, allowing the cells to further spread. At the University of Calgary, however, promising developments in immunotherapy intervention seek to provide alternative treatment when common therapies are not viable.  Cells continually divide to replenish dying cells, but certain gene mutations can create cancer cells, which divide and spread in an uncontrolled manner. The human body naturally defends itself from cancerous cells, though sometimes they can “hide from the immune system and avoid being destroyed,” according to the Canadian Cancer Society. Immunotherapy seeks to help strengthen the ability to recognize and fight...

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society