Written by Kim Regala, Staff Writer
I’ve always been a firm non-believer of romance. Ever since that school dance in the sixth grade . . . This kid thought the best way to ask me out was with a cheesy pick-up line, something like “the only math I need is you + me = us on the dance floor.” I looked him straight in the eye and walked right out of the gymnasium for all his friends to see. I heard he cried after. Pathetic.
However, my entire perspective on love completely flipped the day I met my meme king.
Trust me: back then, I was no meme queen. I was more like a meme peasant, or maybe even lower than that. A meme Black Death-carrying flea, maybe. I’ll never forget hearing my high school friends laughing about “Miley, what’s good?” while I would just sit there, unquirky, unrelatable, keeping up my poker face. Who are you, Miley, wherever you are? I would think to myself. Are you OK?
Anyway. It happened one casual evening. As I swiped through Tinder boys, a picture of Leonardo DiCaprio suddenly popped up — a still from The Great Gatsby where Gatsby is raising his champagne glass for a toast. Quickly, I swiped right, thinking that I finally found someone who shares the same passion about art and literature. Little did I know, I had stumbled upon someone far better. Jerry was, in fact, a meme king. Soon to be . . . my meme king.
I soon found out that Jerry had never actually seen or read The Great Gatsby. All of it was just a reference to some other thing. I wasn’t really sure what that other thing could be, if not the novel or movie that the image came from. But do you seriously think I was about to just expose my ignorance to someone I’d just met?
Like most relationships, ours started out slow and steady. He’d send only two or three memes a day — four if I got lucky. At first, I’d only reply back with an “LOL.” Occasionally, I’d spice it up with a Face with Tears of Joy emoji. But as we got closer, the meme-sending became more frequent. Eventually, I too started replying back with my own memes.
Granted, I had no clue what Grumpy Cat or Surprised Pikachu had to do with anything. But when you’ve been dating a meme king for this long, it’s hard not to pick up on what clicks and what doesn’t.
We’re three years into our relationship now. Honestly, I really think Jerry could be the one. He’s loyal — never missed a single day of memery — and so smart as he constantly reinvents our previously taught understanding of grammar and vocabulary. Most importantly, he’s shown me things that I have never seen before: things I’ll never be able to unsee again.
Speaking of which, I’ve never actually seen what Jerry himself looks like. Up until recently, his Facebook profile picture was Baby Yoda. Just last Tuesday, he changed it to Crying Kim K. But I’m certain that on the first day we meet in real life, sparks will fly, just like when I first swiped right.
