“I’ll Make Love to You” – Boyz II Men
Grace Rose: I, personally, kind of feel like this is a classic ‘90s slow jam. The thing that I most appreciate is that the song seeks to be consensual between both parties and enables the woman to be in charge while still being from a man’s perspective. I quite appreciate that.
Edna Batengas: OMG this sounds like it belongs in a Disney movie soundtrack (apart from the lyrics). I can already see it, but jokes aside I love this song: it just warms my heart. The Pitch Perfect cover of it didn’t do this song justice.
Sarah Kwan: The ideal wedding music for the ‘80s. This combines the smooth vocals of Boyz II Men and slow jams that will make your heart melt on lonely nights or set the mood for a romantic night. This love song is absolutely timeless.
Neil MacAlister: Oooh, this is a classic. I have no doubt that thousands of millennials were conceived to this song.
“Body and Soul” – Tony Bennett, Amy Winehouse
GR: This is also a super classic jazz tune. There’s something very sweet and tender about this that I personally have a soft spot for. Plus, this version is sung by Amy Winehouse who could sing the phone book and it would be beautiful.
EB: Ooh, this song is so raspy and sexy. I feel so classy and sophisticated by just listening to it. Refill on the chardonnay, please. We miss you, Amy Winehouse. We just keep losing the good artists.
SK: Frank Sinatra fans will be enamoured by the soul and depth of Tony Bennett’s voice. And one cannot forget Amy Winehouse’s iconic sound. The pair make love to this song, figuratively, offering a perfectly aged red wine to the ears.
NM: RIP Amy Winehouse. This is that slow jazz magic your grandma likes. This is the kind of music you dance to on a rooftop patio after a few too many glasses of chardonnay.
“Take Me to Church” – Hozier
GR: This song is why one of my close friends calls him Irish Jesus; slightly heretical, but then again, so is this song. But it’s cheeky and I’ll give him that. Just don’t let your parents think this is actually about going to church.
EB: I am kind of lost for words with this song. It’s so beautiful, but terribly sad. Hozier’s vocals could melt butter and that acoustic guitar is just perfect.
SK: A tragic song of worship and heartbreak. This is a melody that complements the haunting lyrics. I could listen to this song multiple times and glean various interpretations, which I personally love about it. Not only does this song offer religious commentary, its interesting play on words and pleasing sound create an experience worth Spotify-ing for.
NM: I’ve heard this song too many times to enjoy it anymore, but honestly Hozier has a hell of a voice. I wonder what he’s been up to lately.
“Your body Is a Wonderland” – John Mayer
GR: John Mayer as a public persona is trash, but this song is not. It’s the right mix of sweet and sensual which is perfect for setting the mood.
EB: Come on everyone, let’s just admit it. We’re suckers for John Mayer. He could be singing about roaches and athlete’s foot and we’d still be swooning to his voice. His voice is so light and sweet that it doesn’t even sound like a love song.
SK: This lighthearted jam from Mayer — the slayer of hearts — offers a flirtatious and raspy love song. But maybe this is one too many normative white love songs, since Mayer targets girls with “porcelain skin” and provides the generic cookie-cutter love interest description that doesn’t come off feeling genuine.
NM: I have to admit, I kinda love John Mayer. If this wasn’t in every mid-2000s rom-com soundtrack, then it should’ve been.
“2 Become 1” – Spice Girls
GR: So I don’t think I was born when this song came out, but I personally think it’s really funny to think about the Spice Girls singing about condom usage. But then again it does promote safe sex.
EB: Mmmm . . . I’ve never really been a fan of the Spice Girls, not because they’re out of my generation, but because they just don’t have really good songs. No wonder they split up.
SK: ASMR feels. This song comes off as lukewarm. Not only do the lyrics sound like a desperate high school girl’s inner voice, it’s mellow overall sound gives it the elevator music impression. Sadly, this song belongs in the past.
NM: An iconic Spice Girls ballad. I’m pretty sure I slow-danced to this when I was like eleven.
“Partition” – Beyoncé
GR: This song is so hot that Beyoncé herself blushed when she first heard the vocal take in the studio. Nuff’ said. (Also there are several songs on this album that are quite sexual, so there’s that.)
EB: Queen B!!!! Don’t even get me started, this song is the epitome of sexy. I’m sitting at my computer feeling the finest thang that’s ever walked on this earth.
SK: Beyoncé’s dirty sound demands the title of Queen B. Her flawless vocal range and diva attitude ooze from this track. This is a must-have on anyone’s playlist.
NM: The best Beyoncé song that isn’t on Lemonade. The first section is just raw power, and the second is the best example of both how unbelievably sexy Bey can be, and how excellent of a storyteller she is. This is a modern classic.
“Blurred Lines” – Robin Thicke, T.I, Pharrell Williams
GR: This song is just creepy. And gross. And rips off Marvin Gaye.
EB: Haha this song is such a trap. It’s upbeat enough to ALMOST make you forget the insensitive and creepy sexual connotations. I’m not fooled, Mr. Thicke. Get outta here, no one wants anything from you. Don’t follow in Bill Cosby’s footsteps
SK: Catchy tunes and a lighthearted attitude seem harmless, but when you actually listen to the lyrics, the controversial and rape-y connotations become a huge turn-off. Its tragic they had to ruin this great beat with upsetting lyrics.
NM: Everything that can be said about the controversy surrounding this song has already been said, so I’ll go ahead and say that, despite how awful this song is, T.I. and Pharrell are excellent and didn’t deserve to get dragged into Robin Thicke’s shit.
“Baby it’s Cold Outside” – Michael Bublé, Idina Menzel
GR: Creepy. Creepy. Creepy. There is nothing romantic about about someone trying to force you to stay somewhere and does so by offering you more booze. So no more Christmas karaoke duets, please and thank you.
EB: Ah, I think his is my Christmas jam. However, I’m aware of the super pushy lyrics. CONSENT MATTERS. If she wants to leave and go home, let her go.
SK: Who doesn’t love Christmas? This song instantly teleports you to a merry and festive time. Sadly, the actual lyrics are extremely creepy and lack the notion of CONSENT. Again, why do women have to be treated as the submissive voice in music?
NM: Just let Michael Bublé sing all of the Christmas songs now. But pick ones that aren’t as creepy.
“Push It” – Salt-N-Pepa
GR: This is a hip-hop classic jam. It makes sense. Plus, it’s two women talking about sex in a very direct way, which is a significant thing.
EB: “Push it real good.” I feel like wearing leg warmers and hitting the dance floor. I wouldn’t call this song sexy, more of a joke actually, but still a fun song.
SK: This old school hip-hop vibe takes you back to a time of hilarious parachute pants, ironically hip dressers and boom boxes. It makes a great work-out song, but is easily overplayed.
NM: This is one of the most iconic songs of the ‘90s. Never forget Salt-N-Pepa.
“Yeah!” – Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris
GR: This 2000s jam is not only a party jam, but I’m pretty sure it’s about orgasms. So think about that next time this comes on at the family BBQ.
EB: Ah, major throwback! This song brings everyone to the dance floor. Yasssss, Usher has definitely got me saying ‘YEAH.’ No, it’s not what you’re thinking. Keep it clean, folks.
SK: A classic club thumper, I love this beat. It takes me back to the days of a booming R&B and the hip-hop scene. If you love this song, you’ll love “Low” by Flo Rida.
NM: This is one of the dopest songs ever, this whole album is an R&B classic. Any love song can be instantly improved with Lil Jon adlibs and a verse from Luda.
“I Just Had Sex” – The Lonely Island, Akon
GR: This song is what I imagine every dude-bro thinks right after he finishes jackhammering some random woman. But then again, I think that’s the point.
EB: Oh gosh, this song was overplayed throughout high school. I’m literally laughing as I type. Although, real talk, the lyrics are so real and honest. But Akon, you’re a grown man, what are you doing singing to such? The music video is hilarious.
SK: The funniest love song you will find, you just can’t not love this song. If you do, just watch the SNL video for context because its blatant vulgarity and hilarious sketches will make you fall in love with this song, just to relive the first moment you came across it. This is what 14-year-old boys think of sex.
NM: This is such a high school relic. I actually don’t think I’ve heard this song since grade nine. Also, how is this the last relevant thing Akon has done? Bring back Akon.
“Pony” – Ginuwine
GR: Channing Tatum. Parks and Recreation. American Dad. What do these things all have in common? This song sung by the ever so extra R&B singer Ginuwine. This isn’t even subtle. It’s kinda gross, but just cheesy enough to be acceptable.
EB: This is too slimy for me. No thanks, I can already smell the strip club sweat. This is even too sexy for me. Yes, I too am shocked.
SK: The sexiest beat you will find on the market. The beat brings me back to Magic Mike. This song is flirty, confident, and lustful.
NM: An absolute classic. Ginuwine reinvented the sex jam. Although since Parks & Rec., I have a hard time hearing this without thinking about Lil Sebastian.
