Best and worst albums to have sex to

0
357

By: Alex Bloom, Courtney Miller, Natasha Tar

Valtari by Sigur Rós

Composed of select instrumentals and explosive endings, almost every minute of this album could be the soundtrack of sensual sex. Each song is framed in about the same way: slow, romantic buildups and incredible climaxes which are perfect if you and your partner prefer lots of foreplay.

Each song is about six minutes long, and some of my favourites include “Varúð” and “Rembihnútur.” If you’re like me and usually dislike invasive lyrics that make you feel like there’s an unwanted extra guest in bed with you, Valtari has only limited Icelandic singing. Takk is also full of blissful tracks that could complement a romantic night. – NT

I Love You, Honeybear by Father John Misty

This is an incredibly sexy album about love, lust, fear, and sex (of course). Josh Tillman’s vocals alone are enough to get anyone undressed; paired with trumpets in “Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)” and a tambourine in “The Night Josh Tillman Came to Our Apt.,” they are irresistible.

I Love You, Honeybear has the perfect ebb and flow for a long night of love-making, with lots of variety for any mood and any kind of sex. If you want a more intense song, “The Ideal Husband” or “Strange Encounter” is the way to go. For something sweet and slow, “When You’re Smiling and Astride Me” is the tune for you. Just take my advice and skip “Bored in the USA” and “I Went To The Store One Day.” They will most likely kill the mood if you don’t. – NT

Any Kidz Bop album

There is nothing sexy about a bunch of tweens singing boring choruses to boring songs. These tracks will not contribute to sensual foreplay or sustain a mood. Just don’t.  – CM

Bonus track: Common – “Retrospect for Life”
Do not listen to this song during sex. In fact, sex wouldn’t touch this song with a 10-foot pole. While there’s no doubt that Common is smooth and charming, this song’s heavy themes in dealing with the emotional aftermath of having an abortion will have you reconsidering the whole “having a sex drive” thing in the first place. If the sound system is on shuffle and this comes up, the mood is practically dead already . . . unless, of course, your sexuality means “pregnancy is not a concern,” in which case this song is just a bit of a downer, but you can probably power through it. – AB