[dropcap]W[/dropcap]alking to my neighbourhood Starbucks, I’m surrounded by elaborate light shows on either side of the street. The community seems to be engaged in a fashion showdown.
“Jeff, you got Christmas lights on your garage? Well, I’ve got mine on my roof. Plus they’re LED.”
“Mitch, please, you’re just trying to overcompensate for your lack of glow-in-the-dark lawn reindeer.”
“Sorry, Jeff, I can’t seem to see your reindeer behind my six-foot-tall candy canes.”
I finally enter the Starbucks, and I’m immediately greeted with the smells of pretentious coffee and the sounds of Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas.” I go up to the counter and order my Venti Caramelito Gingerbreadito Latteito, which — of course — is served in a festive cup. As I sit my keister down on an overly-plump sofa, I can’t help but feel that this is what makes December fantastic: DIY light shows, classic holiday songs, and overly sweetened hot beverages.
There’s just one problem: It’s the first week of November.
Yes, it seems that these days the eleventh month of the year has morphed slyly into the twelfth, with the festive season beginning the second you change out of your risque Halloween outfit. Many people might say, “But is that not a fantastic turn of events? Instead of having one month to listen to cheesy holiday tunes, we now have two!” I am afraid that nothing could be further from the truth.
Before you start branding me a cynical Scrooge, I ask that you turn down “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire” and hear me out for a second. I have absolutely nothing against the festive season during December. Indeed, I challenge anyone that has the gall to call me a Grinch to a Christmas song karaoke-off. However, my problem lies in the fact that there is only so much holiday goodness that one can absorb before bloating to the size of a mall Santa.
The holiday also brings with it some fantastic pieces of music, but they usually go stale after about 30 days.
Let’s go back to those lights present in my neighbourhood. I truly do tip my hat to those who endured cold Canadian weather to put them up. But after a month, it starts to get annoying to see that smug look on plastic Rudolph’s face everyday I go to school. Or those carols blasted in every single coffee shop in the northern hemisphere.
The holiday also brings with it some fantastic pieces of music, but only up until their expiry date, and they usually go stale after about 30 days. This means that once December rolls around, I’m already tired of the songs I should be enjoying.
If that’s not enough to convince you, let’s bring out an academic argument. Finals start around the second week of December (sorry for reminding you). Had we as a society decided to begin our holiday festivities on the first of December, then all the cheery music would indeed be cheery, as we would only have heard it for a little while by that point.
On the other hand, after listening to carols during the entire month of November, “Deck the Halls” playing during finals season just reminds me of the grueling month that I just had. The same goes with those Starbucks holiday cups. There’s only so many red cups I can look at before going bananas, and going bananas during finals season is a recipe for disaster.
Therefore, SFU students, I implore you to put away those Christmas lights. Hide that holiday jazz CD you bought at the flea market. And for goodness’ sake, dump that festive cup of sugary coffee. Though it may make your November a bit glum, your December is bound to be extra sweet in comparison.
