Quantum and Woody are the worst crime fighters ever created. There is no duo in comics today that can match the hijinks of these two mismatched protectors. Joined by a supporting cast that includes a sexy clone named Sixty-Nine and a goat who can shoot lasers from its eyes, it is enough to make one wonder if Valiant Comics were stoned when they announced the comic’s return after a 13-year hiatus. However, since their reboot in 2013, the characters have seen more success than anyone expected.
In a time where virtuous superheroes are innumerably prevalent, it is a welcome surprise to see two characters that share none of those admirable qualities. Quantum and Woody are not even ruthless vigilantes; they’re just a pair of nitwits that should have never been granted superpowers. Their adventures are nothing less than a train wreck from start to finish, and this earns the comic the distinction of being a side-splitting odyssey of grandiose stupidity you have to see to believe.
In Quantum and Woody: Crooked Pasts, Present Tense the series comes to its grand conclusion with the same loveable craziness readers have come to expect. Complete with a Voodoo Heist and an evil reanimated Thomas Edison, it is everything readers have always wanted but could never articulate with words.
At its core, Quantum and Woody is story about two estranged adoptive brothers who would not hesitate to kill one another if given the opportunity. Brought together to try and solve the murder of their father, the un-dynamic duo are accidently imbued with superpowers in the process. To make matters worse, Quantum and Woody cannot be away from each other for a period of over 24 hours or every atom in their body will come apart.
As they progress closer to the mystery surrounding their father’s death, tensions between the brothers mount astronomically. In the end, they create twice as much conflict for themselves than all the antagonists in the series combined.
The banter between the brothers is what makes up a majority of the series’ charm. James Asmus perfectly encapsulates their petty squabbles with his witty, fast-paced dialogue. Every panel in the series packs hilarity — you cannot help but laugh hysterically as these characters find new and exciting ways to make things worse for themselves. The brothers are magnets for catastrophe, and every situation is better than the last.
The series is not perfect, though. For instance, it suffers from inconsistent artwork throughout the whole volume. This is not to say the artwork doesn’t service the story, but it does become distracting when artists change chapter to chapter. The series could have benefitted from having the same artist for every issue; it would have made the overall collection more well-rounded.
All in all though, Quantum and Woody is a series which can brighten even the darkest day with its humour — and remind only-children everywhere how lucky they are to be alone.
