By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Coroner The following is a transcription of a voice recording from a mortician’s autopsy. Testing, testing. OK, time is 8:14 a.m. on Saturday, October 14, 2017. Name of deceased: Doug Graves. Location of death — uhh — the daughter, Abigail, said she realized something was wrong after her dad hadn’t left the bathroom for 9 hours. How did she not realize before? Well, anyway. Location: Their home at . . . let me see . . . 401 Fortuna Road. It was Friday the 13th on the day he died. Eerie, isn’t it? OK, and let…
Continue reading
By: Heidi Kwok, Humour Expert Did you know that The Peak wasn’t always funny? Gasp, you say. Oh, but it’s true. It wasn’t until the first humour section, “Nifty Pages,” graced us with its presence on January 12, 1998, that…
Continue reading
By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Writer Are you a perfectionist? Start with this short checklist: Do you set big goals for yourself, yet feel no sense of accomplishment if you reach them? Are you highly critical of yourself and/or others? Do…
Continue reading
By: Gossip Peakie Hey, Burnaby Mountain dwellers. At this point, you should know who I am (even you first-years). If you don’t, you have a lot to learn about this town, sweetie. Gossip Peakie here — your number one source…
Continue reading
By: Jin Song, Peak Associate SIGGRAPH (Special Interest Group on Computer Graphics and Interactive Techniques) is the largest computer graphics conference in the world, bringing together scientists, artists, and other professionals working on cutting-edge technologies in the field. It has…
Continue reading
Interview and translations by: Ashima Shukla, Staff Writer Written by: Petra Chase, Features Editor Kulbir Kaila worked at SFU for 17 years. On July 28, she died at the age of 61 while working a cleaning shift on the Burnaby…
Continue reading
By: Niveja Assalaarachchi, News Writer I was 11 years old, walking down the street with my mom. We were chatting while heading back home from a game of cricket. Suddenly, three people in a car driving by began yelling obscene…
Continue reading
By: Yildiz Subuk, Staff Writer Stepping off the bus at the loop near the convocation mall, one immediately notices the set. At first, I thought the university was building a small aesthetic space to brighten the atmosphere, maybe an area…
Continue reading
By: Katie Walkley, Peak Associate With a studded collar and a lipstick stain on the cheek that he claimed to be from Gerard Way, McFogg the Dog sat in the doorway of a Lorne Davies Complex athletic storage closet for…
Continue reading
By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor Picture this: Lana Del Rey, singing Chemtrails Over The Country Club, frantically flying over an audience, and waving her arms like a fairy all at the same time. At first, you think, “Goddamn. What an…
Continue reading