Liam Britten
TransLink to slap toll on Jeff Bridges
November 5, 2012By Liam Britten Sources: The Dude “does not abide” gouging commuters Despite recently taking heat over increasing tolls on major Lower Mainland roads, transportation giant TransLink has said that they are planning to toll even more bridges in the coming year. In a plan sure to spark controversy, TransLink’s board of directors has revealed that they plan to place new tolls not only on the Golden Ears, Patullo and Port Mann bridges, but also place a toll on Hollywood actor Jeff Bridges. TransLink defended the toll on Jeff Bridges, star of films such as True Grit, Crazy Heart, and The…
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Bank of Canada declares nation’s economy ‘haunted’
October 29, 2012By Liam Britten (Necro-economicist) Bank rules out Leprechaun-related hijinks causes for demonic happenings After weeks of speculation and nervous hand-wringing by economists and psychics across the country, Bank of Canada president Mark Carney took the unprecedented step of declaring the…
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Guys, I know I’m the hottest TA at SFU, but you need to stop masturbating during tutorial
May 28, 2012By Pamela Berman Okay, then, moving on, who can tell me the significance of the Canadian Radio League in establishing the CBC? Anyone? No? Did anyone do the readings last night? Look, I know it’s getting close to midterms, but…
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This Valentine’s day, practice full frontal giving.
February 20, 2012By Davey Kaspersky If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably got some Valentine’s Day hang-ups that really grind your gears. For some, it’s finding a date in the first place. Tell me about it! For others, it’s spending too much…
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