Horoscopes
Horoscopes June 15–21
June 15, 2026Aries March 21–April 19 Tangerine matcha latte Aries, tangerines may be as bright as you, but the novelty is getting a little out of hand. When was the last time you even ate a tangerine? This combination is what you thought could kickstart your summer, but all it will really do is stoke the thrill of being a trailblazer. At least you’ll know you’re meeting your Vitamin C intake. The stars are taking bets on if you’ll gatekeep this or make a TikTok about it (or both, somehow, for social validation). Taurus April 20–May 20 Banana bread matcha latte Just…
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Horoscopes are back
December 18, 2025Aries (March 21–April 19) Go lay in grandma’s lap, tough guy. You deserve it. If you don’t have a grandma, any scruffy-looking dog will do. It’s gotta be scruffy, though. Taurus (April 20–May 20) Stars are aligning in a way…
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Horoscopes March 24–30
March 24, 2025Aries March 21–April 19 Feeling guilty about only going to two out of 11 weeks of classes? It’s alright; there are just a few more classes to miss — you’re nearly getting there. Good job, babes! You even escaped having…
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Horoscopes February 17–23
February 17, 2025Aries March 21–April 19 “It’s private, but no.” The stars think you should spend more time telling nosy people to mind their business, and then still answer their questions. Taurus April 20–May 20 “Um, Shabana. Would you like to speak,…
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Horoscopes: Lunar New Year edition
January 27, 2025Snake 1965 (Us???), 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025 Snakes, 2025 is going to be your year. Want to know why? Since this year is the year of the snake, it’s time for Reputation (Taylor’s version) to be released! You’ll be…
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Horoscopes January 13–19
January 13, 2025Aries March 21–April 19 This week, you will wake up all motivated to go to the one required lower division course you have ignored for two whole years. Then, as you wash your face, you will remember why you avoided…
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Horoscopes January 6–12
January 9, 2025Aries March 21–April 19 I was gossiping with the stars about you, and they said that you’re stubborn, so you’ll probably think you’re invincible all year. Close your damn incognito Google flights tab. The Boeings are falling apart! #StayGrounded Taurus…
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Horoscopes December 2–8
December 2, 2024Aries March 21–April 19 Your laptop is full of unfinished assignments, and that’s OK! What’s more merry and bright than cramming in last-minute papers and exams worth your entire grade? “Catchup Queen” is your middle name. Get to work, you…
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Horoscopes November 12 – 18
November 21, 2024Aries March 21–April 19 Let’s be honest: Aries are the pursuers in any relationship because of their headstrong attitude. You know who else doesn’t stop until they get what they want? The popular girl in every high school romance movie…
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Horoscopes November 4–10
November 6, 2024Aries March 21–April 19 Stop and smell the flowers, err . . . pet the raccoons. But seriously, just relax. You’re getting too far ahead of yourself these days. You should take a step back and remember what’s truly important:…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]