Fashion DO’s and DON’Ts
DOs
“Oh McFogg honey, no. I don’t know who told you leather hooker boots and a plaid skirt was the look for mascots this year, but they were sadly mistaken. PS: You might be a dog, but that mustache screams “bear!”
DON’Ts
“Wizards are so 2008. But really Andy, you definitely pull that off. Jk. (Rowling)”
Horoscope it out!
Aries (March 21 – April 20)
Yep, this is where your astrological fortune would be, if Aries didn’t see you eyeing those slutty tarot cards last week. You know they’ve told practically everyone’s fortune, right?
Taurus (April 21 – May 21)
Your viewing of the Hobbit is ruined when you see how different in tone the movie is from the book. I mean, the book barely even mentions slavery, revenge-killing, or the deep south.
Gemini (May 22 – June 21)
Expect things to be awkward with the family this week, when you accidentally Freudian slip your mother the tongue.
Cancer (June 22 – July 22)
Mars is in retrograde this week, I don’t know what that means.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Look, the stars understand you’re angry. But to be fair to Dominos, on a bad cell connection, extra cheese does sound a lot like angry bees.
Virgo (August 23 – Sept. 23)
It looks like learning how to use doorknobs again isn’t the only thing that’s got you “stumped” this week. Hahaha, get it— Right, hasn’t happened yet.
Libra (Sept. 24 – Oct. 23)
Your thriftiness catches up with you this week when it turns out your homemade seat belts aren’t “just as good as the real thing.”
Scorpio (Oct. 24 – Nov. 22)
Your love life looks especially promising this week, as the Save-Ons has a sale on both tissue paper and rope.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23 – Dec. 21)
Jupiter’s in your sign in this week, coincidentally, drops of it also appear in your hair. Provided you pay the licensing fees to Train.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 20)
This week the stars are telling you to follow your heart, or more accurately follow that man getting away with the organ cooler.
Aquarius (Jan. 21 – Feb. 19)
While you aren’t technically operating “heavy machinery,” you still probably shouldn’t be using that vibrator under all the influence of cough syrup.
Pieces (Feb. 20 – March 20)
This week, take some time off and catch some Zs. That way you can stop referring to them as those striped African horse things.
Chris Brown beats Leukemia
Unpopular music artist batters slightly more popular bone cancer
By Gary Lim
HOLLYWOOD — Famed American rap artist Chris Brown made headlines early last week after viciously beating the autoimmune disorder leukemia into remission.
Eyewitnesses reported the 23-year-old rap artist was spotted inside popular LA medical center Cedar-Sinai prior to the incident, where Brown has been seen binge drinking beforehand, downing an entire 40oz bottle of barium contrast dye and a cocktail of antibiotic drugs.
Brown’s fight against the bone cancer stems back to a Twitter feud in 2011, when Brown’s oncologist Dr. Lieventhal openly called the grammy-winning artist’s T-cell count “abnormally high and warranting a lymphatic biopsy” to which Brown responded by calling Leukemia “a punk-ass honky blood cell bitch” on MTV’s TRL and coughing up a few specks of blood into a handkerchief.
Since then the crippling illness and Brown’s immune system have been at odds, surfacing in entertainment news each time a withered and emaciated Brown appeared in public.
The feud finally came to a head last Friday when following the end of a nine-month-long stint of radiation treatment and the implantation of a chemotherapy pump, Brown confronted the hematological malignancy, severely injuring the cancerous masses of tissues in his bone marrow and, according to doctors, allegedly punching the disease into remission.
Upon learning of his disease-free state, an ecstatic Brown was reported to have immediately struck a hospital orderly, Inderpal Shankar, 34, in the face, violence being Brown’s only way to express emotion.
SFSS passes bylaw changes
Last week’s special general meeting made quorum, the first time in years
By Alison Roach
Photos by Mark Burnham
Last Thursday’s SFSS special general meeting (SGM) was the most attended in years, drawing the full quorum of 240 students needed to make changes to SFSS by-laws. The motion to amend the society’s bylaws passed, and will go into effect May 1, 2014.
“I don’t think since 2006 or 2008 has the SFSS actually had a quorate general meeting,” said SFSS president Lorenz Yeung, who chaired the event. The meeting was called to order an hour after it was scheduled to begin.
The proposed bylaw changes were voted on as part of an omnibus package. A motion to break up the bylaws and vote on them piece by piece was made, but quickly defeated. The omnibus package included changes to 15 of the 22 existing bylaws, as well as the creation of a new one.
Discussion was also cut short twice, as an audience member called the question and forced a vote to adopt the agenda, and later to pass the bylaw changes. Going through the omnibus package proved lengthy, and was cut off after by the student attendees after bylaw nine.
The changes ranged from small language changes to different terms, such as the renaming of SFSS Forum to the Council. Major alterations included the elimination of the board’s internal relations officer position, to be replaced by an executive director. The member services officer position was also split into two separate offices, one focused on community, and the other on administration.
Another major change was the formal creation of Faculty Student Unions (DSUs), under the new bylaw. Though DSUs such as the Society of Arts and Social Sciences (SASS) and Business Administration Student Society (BASS) have been operating on campus for a while, they haven’t been recognized by the SFSS as FSUs.
Yeung explained: “The intent of this bylaw is to introduce another level of — you could call it governance . . . in between the board and departmental student unions. Currently the board directly manages and provides funding for departmental student unions.
It makes it difficult for those in the same faculty to hold campus-wide events.”
The new bylaw allows these FSUs to be formally established by referendum, and would then in turn recognize and represent DSUs in the faculty.
The motion to amend the bylaws passed by a wide margin, opposed by only a few members of the audience who had previously wished to sever the bylaws, and discuss each in detail. Afterwards, Yeung closed by saying, “Thank you, everyone. We made history in the society today.”
Ask questions, get Moe answers
A rebuttal to last week’s opinions piece, straight from the man himself
By Moe Kopahi
Mr. Joseph Leivdal, thank you for taking your time to express your opinion (“The SFSS needs Moe accountability”, April 2,
2013) in regards to the SFSS, SFU senate and me. I will address your concerns one by one.
You stated that, “The cover of a recent issue of The Peak shows newly elected SFSS President Khan revelling in his victory.” I find it hard to understand how this line is linked to the rest of your article. However, just for your information, the person behind the president is me, celebrating the results of the election and all the hard work we had put in campaigning and as board members over the last year.
You asked “where is the voice against increasing tuition coming from? Student fees? Budget cuts? Things are looking bad when all we see from the SFSS on these issues is an article and an email.” I agree that increases in tuition fees hurt students. But advocacy committee falls under the portfolio of the external relations officer, which is not me. I am the applied sciences representative.
“I bet you didn’t even know that Senate is debating the top-down integration of learning outcomes in curriculum, restructuring the very core of student experience at SFU. You would if the SFSS were doing their job,” you said in the article. I bet you didn’t know that the SFSS does not interfere with academics of SFU, which is the responsibility of senate. Check out their mandate.
You also quoted me on Facebook as saying, “If it was about equality, it wouldn’t be called feminism.” This sentence is just a tiny fragment of the conversation you are referring to and has been highlighted out of context. All it means is that in some cases, the definition of feminism has been modified to achieve a certain goal. I said this through my personal experience, and not as the incoming MSO.
You take issue with the fact that I was voted in with 1,962 votes on a 23 per cent voter turnout. I agree on the issue of lack of student engagement at SFU, however, we have been doing our best to get students involved. As far as the issue of votes cast for me is concerned, I was elected by 1,962 people voting in my favor.
If you claim that just bec a u s e n o t e n o u g h p e o p l e voted, the election process is somehow flawed, or that the
legitimization of the incoming directors should be questioned, then you are directly negating and undermining democracy and the time and effort of those active members of our community that actually voted in the last election.
Finally, you stated that “the Women’s Centre not only offers alternative resources to individuals of all genders, but also organizes a variety of events on a regular basis that serve the interests of our diverse student body.” While I completely agree with the quote and the importance of the Women’s Centre, I still stand by the fact that there needs to be more communication between the Women’s Centre and the SFSS and vice versa. Both parties should make an effort to resolve this issue.
As a general note to yourself and all SFU students: thank you all for participating in the SFSS elections in March. I highly recommend you to be involved with the SFSS, as it is a wonderful and productive experience at SFU. After five years of university experience and involvement, I have found that the best results come from working together for a common goal. Solving student issues and voicing their concerns is one of the SFSS mandates.
If you have any concerns, you should feel comfortable to contact us directly and work as a team to improve the student experience at SFU. Please contact me if you have any questions or concerns: [email protected].
The opinions in this article are my own, and not necessarily the opinions of the SFSS.
