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The Steve Chronigulls

Steve returns with a new screenplay in the works

By: Lucaiah Smith-Miodownik

The Peak recently interviewed Steve C. Gull, a local screenwriter and seagull who lives in the reflecting pond. We decided to check back in with the avian creative and see how he’s been since we last spoke.

Last time we talked, you were working on your screenplay, Romeo and Gulliet. How’s that going?

“Turns out there were some licensing issues with the whole thing. Apparently, the idea is already taken? To be honest, I’m kind of starting to regret telling you guys about the project. I think someone else might have stolen my idea. I looked it up, and it turns out there’s a gnome version, too? C’mon, let’s be realistic here. Anyways, all that to say, Romeo and Gulliet won’t be hitting the big screen anytime soon. Such is the life of an artiste, I suppose.”

Do you have any other projects in the works?

“Yes. But I’m not taking any chances this time. I don’t want you people leaking my work again. Well . . . what the hell, I guess a little sneak-peak couldn’t hurt. So, picture this: A young Canadian seagull has a burning passion for ice hockey. Turns out, though, that he’s much better at golf. He enters a tournament hoping to beat the pros and win enough money to save his grandma’s house. It’s a real David and Gulliath situation (yes, that one’s in the works as well). So far, the working title is Flappy Gullmore. Keep in mind here that we’re still in the rough draft phase. Creativity takes time.

“I’ve also been looking to branch out and diversify my portfolio. I’m working with my agent on securing a role in an upcoming National Geographic documentary. Oh, and I just booked a cameo in a PETA commercial starring my buddy, Daffy.”

Let’s go back to the beginning. How did you first find your passion for the arts?

“I like to think the passion found me, really. I remember it was after a particularly spicy SoulCycle session. I went to pop in to my favourite vegan acai bar like usual, but they were closed. I was devastated. I went home, and the words kind of just flowed out onto the page. It was a healing experience, really. From then on, I just knew I had a gift, and I was obligated to let people hear my voice. What I want anyone seeing my art to take away is that you can get through hard things in life. If I can help one person with their trauma, then I’ve done my job.

“My career hasn’t been without struggle. You know, I actually applied to be the arts editor for The Peak back in my university days. I had the job for a little while until they fired me. Apparently the new cigarette-timbits compote in the dumpster behind the Student Union Building isn’t worth writing about multiple times? Oh well, their loss. Between you and me, I still sometimes shit on the newspaper stands around campus just to spite them.”

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

“To anyone reading, you better not get any ideas about stealing my project. I hired the best lawyers to sue people, including your seagull-phobic newspaper. I further demand that The Peak rename itself to The Beak. Oh, and follow me on Instagram: @whatsteveseesgull.”

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