WHAT GRINDS OUR GEARS: Assholes who hurt my friend’s feelings

Written by: Winona Young, Staff Writer

It’s a little bit irrational to get angry at someone you barely know, let alone even met, but God, it’s easy when this someone messes with your best friend’s feelings. Anyone who has a friend with slightly questionable taste in romantic partners can understand my struggle.

You constantly hear about how emotionally inept this person is, and you wonder how it’s even physically possible that this much shit comes out their mouth. Even though you’re 5’2” at best and you know that your opponent can bench-press your weight, you want that shady, smelly, smelly little bitch to go down.

Of course you wouldn’t do anything that violent against your friend’s wishes, but the amount of secondhand anger you feel makes you livid — so much so that you use words such as “livid” like an outraged soccer mom. Although you probably will never confront them, you still dream of the day you can go Samuel L. Jackson on their flat ass and say, “I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”