Bad habits to pick up now!

Stop drinking water all the time, you healthy bitch

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Illustrations by Emma Wu

By: Ashley Lee

Want to improve your life? Interested in feeling better both physically and mentally?

Well, good for you! Go find one of the million posts which will tell you how to live like a basic human being, and how to do the things everyone knows but no one actually does — like drinking plenty of water. But if you’re tired of reading that health blog bullshit, The Peak presents the flip side here: four bad habits you can pick up easily, or that you already have because you honestly just don’t care enough to try in life.

 

1) Look at yourself in the mirror and point out all your flaws

Do this every day. And when I say every day, I mean every day. Let your insecurities run wild . . . it’s easier than trying to subdue them. This is a surefire way to lower your confidence. This doesn’t sound like a good idea, but it’s the best bad habit there is. Firstly, it prevents you from becoming a narcissist and causing the few people who actually like you to start hating you. Secondly, it will make you feel better in the long run. If your confidence is low, then it will actually feel nice when someone compliments how nice your hair looks today (‘cause damn girl it looks fine!) instead of you just already knowing how fabulous you look. It ties in with the whole ego thing; it’s great to avoid being a narcissist — and being self-deprecating is much better!

2) Eat more junk food!

This seems obvious, but I feel like not enough people today appreciate the sacred beauty of a good bag of chips. It’s all about being vegan or gluten-free (not because you’re celiac but because you want to be healthier), which honestly, is a lot of devoted work. We all know junk food tastes better, and it’s way easier to open a bag of chips than to wash and cut a piece of fruit or veg! Why be sad eating a carrot when you can be happy eating chocolate? Why spend $40 on a fancy dinner when you can spend $5 at McDonalds? This is clearly a better option than eating healthy.

3) Never exercise!

Never. . . ever. It’s really just easier not to. It requires too much effort. We all prefer to binge-watch shows on Netflix anyway. Why not just stay at home and do that instead? They say exercise releases endorphins that make you happy but let’s be real, true happiness comes from being a couch potato and watching reruns of Friends until you can quote every single episode.

4) Don’t sleep

You have too much to do, so what’s the point of sleeping anyway? It’s just a waste of time. We’ve all had that feeling of dread which comes with waking up late and having to rushing around to get ready, and apologizing to our boss or professor for our tardiness. Why not just avoid that entire situation by not sleeping? It gives you way more time in the day to wander aimlessly around your house being bored and thinking about why you don’t have any friends.

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