Go back

SFU Replies!

Hi SFU,

What do the signs about standing on the AQ pond mean? Why can’t I stand on the AQ pond?

Thank you,

Alexandria

 

Hi Alexandria,

Please do not stand on the Burnaby AQ pond. It is not safe to stand on in the winter months, because the pond is completely liquid. A quick look into the water – the completely unfrozen water – would provide you with this information. This is probably due to the modern weather patterns we live with, unfortunately.

The salt that was added to the pond also completely removes the possibility for it to ice over. The salt, of course, helped to dispose of the magic koi fish that usually inhabit the pond throughout the year. And now, as they do every year, they can be found at their visual hiding spot, safe from the salt: hovering above the spinning W at SFU Woodward’s for the winter.

Fortunately, the salt in the pond makes an ideal environment for the serpent-like, aquatic animals that replace the koi for the winter. If you would have taken the time to look down into the pond, you would have known these facts, and you probably wouldn’t have to ask why you shouldn’t stand in or on the pond for the time being.

Do not fear the pond’s eyes, though. Deep in the pond’s centre, they have opened, as they do every January, and they are glorious, as they become every February. They will consume the serpent creatures in no time, and we will have at least one amazing week of unobstructed eye viewing.

They’re a golden-brown this year! And surrounded by a smoky, light blue hue. Truly glorious.

The eyes guide SFU Burnaby, as the effervescent ears of SFU Surrey guides them, and as the disembodied voice of Charles Woodward guides the performing arts building.

Maybe just look down into the pond next time, or look up the history of SFU Burnaby, Alexandria!

May the eyes be with you,

 

Zomxxpask Mxxxxnk (apx.)

SFU Student Relations Overlord

Was this article helpful?
0
0

Leave a Reply

Block title

SFU employee spills the tea about her embezzlement-obsessed colleague

By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator The following is a satirical and fictional commentary.  Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever wanted to say, “Fuck the system!” and chug some milk while your boss has his back turned? Way to go, you sabotaging legend. But what if I told you an SFU employee stole $200,000 from the university to fund a luxury vacation to the Pochonos? How would you feel then?  An SFU employee, Jane Doe, has allegedly done just that. The Peak spoke to a staff member of the academic and administrative services office to learn more.  We will refer to the staff member as Madge to protect her identity. Madge volunteered information to the publication when a member of The Peak...

Read Next

Block title

SFU employee spills the tea about her embezzlement-obsessed colleague

By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator The following is a satirical and fictional commentary.  Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever wanted to say, “Fuck the system!” and chug some milk while your boss has his back turned? Way to go, you sabotaging legend. But what if I told you an SFU employee stole $200,000 from the university to fund a luxury vacation to the Pochonos? How would you feel then?  An SFU employee, Jane Doe, has allegedly done just that. The Peak spoke to a staff member of the academic and administrative services office to learn more.  We will refer to the staff member as Madge to protect her identity. Madge volunteered information to the publication when a member of The Peak...

Block title

SFU employee spills the tea about her embezzlement-obsessed colleague

By: Noeka Nimmervoll, Staff Investigator The following is a satirical and fictional commentary.  Oh boy, do we have some juicy tea for you. Have you ever wanted to say, “Fuck the system!” and chug some milk while your boss has his back turned? Way to go, you sabotaging legend. But what if I told you an SFU employee stole $200,000 from the university to fund a luxury vacation to the Pochonos? How would you feel then?  An SFU employee, Jane Doe, has allegedly done just that. The Peak spoke to a staff member of the academic and administrative services office to learn more.  We will refer to the staff member as Madge to protect her identity. Madge volunteered information to the publication when a member of The Peak...