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HUMOUR: Seven ways SFU students can stay warm and toasty during winter

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Image by Miranda Macfarlane

That’s right, SFU. It’s not just the cry of Game of Thrones fans in withdrawal for the next season of blood, guts, and nudity — winter is indeed coming. Fear not, though, because your wonderful friends at The Peak have got you covered this winter season, with seven top-notch ways to keep your tushy blissfully acclimatized in lectures and tutorials.

1. Find a two-person tauntaun to cut into. But remember to breathe through your mouth instead of your nose, okay?

2. Burn your textbooks. It’s not like you’re using them to study anyways.

3. Construct a soup of armour. Enclose your body within a person-sized thermos to keep warm things warm and cold things on the outside. Minus 10 to your dexterity, though.

4. Make onesies a mandatory uniform for all future study group sessions. Just because you’re learning doesn’t mean you can’t be comfortable.

5. Ask the barista to make your latte extra hot. Then go to Canadian Tire and buy a spaceheater for your tutorial room.

6. Find a YouTube clip of the fireplace channel and hope for a placebo effect. Remember to cheer whenever the mysterious arm appears to prod the flame.

7. Just stay at home. There’s no place like it.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

Contact us:
[email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society 1965-2024