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Boohoo, Woohoo

Boohoo: Road Rage

I’ve never understood what possesses a driver to burst their Hulk-like seams as soon as the ignition starts. Seriously, I’ve been in vehicles with quite a few otherwise perfectly calm and content people, but when they hit the road, their sudden anger is shocking, confusing, and in most cases completely unnecessary.

My question is why? Why do friends and family splurge out every single curse word in the book when another driver turns their signal light on a little too late, or when there’s confusion at a 4-way stop? What influences an angry, half-naked truck driver to stumble out of his vehicle at a road construction site to knock on the window and harass the driver ahead of him (true story)?

In a primitive sense, could it be that we all, at our core, harbour very aggressive, defensive attitudes that help ensure our survival, and that the soundproof safety net of a windshield allows us to unleash these barbaric attitudes on people without facing the ramifications?

In any case, I’d like to ride shotgun with someone who doesn’t constantly yell, swear, or flip the bird at other drivers over the stupidest things. Maybe we should just take the bus next time.

 

Woohoo: Rage Rooms

Have you ever just wanted to unleash your anger through rapid physical exertion on random inanimate objects? Well, you’re in luck! Maybe it’s time to drive all that road anger to the Rage Room, where we can fling our steel bats at elaborate dining room dishware, ugly mustard-yellow sofas, and useless curved-screen television sets from the ‘90s!

Did you have a bad day at work? Maybe your personal life is stressing you out? Or perhaps you just have pent-up anger for seemingly no reason at all? Rest assured, the Rage Room will medicate you with a gruesome scene reminiscent of a Stanley Kubrick film!

Don’t be discouraged by the price — if an ambitious $25 for five minutes will help you release your fury without breaking any significant laws, then go for it. Yes, these rooms are real, and in my humble opinion they’re a genius idea.

Calm, cool and collected is now only a short psychotic rampage away!

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