Student knows he could quit video games if he wanted to

SHELL HOUSE — Jeremy Johnson, a second-year student at Simon Fraser University could quit video games anytime, like any time . . . if he wanted to.

“Just think about all the studying I could do if I wasn’t playing over six hours of video games everyday,” Johnson said, filled with confidence, explaining that he could study for all three courses he is currently enrolled in and still have enough time to hang out with his bros and like read and do smart stuff.

“ I could quit in the blink of an eye but you know, I’m just not feeling it, I mean I’m pretty smart, so like I don’t really need to study anyway — haha got ya SON, get OWWWWWNNNNNNNNEEEEEDDDDD!” he said as he clicked frantically on his Xbox controller while hunched over, and staring intently into a TV screen mere inches away from his face.

While sources confirmed that he did totally own that guy, when asked if he could put down the Xbox controller just until the end of the interview Jeremy said, “Ok, Ok, just let me finish this round.”

When the round was over he was asked again to which he replied, “Yo, just hang on, I didn’t do that well so just one more round.”

After another four rounds Johnson put down the controller for long enough to actually look our interviewer in the eye and conclude, “Yeah, so basically I could quit anytime, if I wanted to.” Johnson then started another round of “Call of Duty.”