The Class Zombie
You know that guy? Yes, that guy, because let’s be honest here; it’s only guys who do it. The guy who sits in front of you for the whole lecture — headphones in, glassy eyes half open— playing LOL (League of Legends). Yes, many of us make use of the pacifier that is video games from time to time, but really? Do you need to inflict such dire dramatic irony on yourself in class? Melting your brain when you should be developing it.
I mean don’t get me wrong, I love video games more than half as much as I should studying; it could be said that I even love playing video games (but that would be sad, so it’s best left unsaid). But, do you really, truly, feel the need to bring that love into the classroom? No one wants to see that; it’s quite simply PDA. You keep it to yourself like feelings or a bad report card (or perhaps any report card if you continue in this way).
So please, I beg of you do not play LOL in the classroom. Do not play any video game. In fact don’t even play tic-tac-toe. You’re here to learn, not to play like a child. But hey, don’t let me tell you how to live your life. If you want to pay $6,000 a year to play video games then be my guest.
Written by Alex Bloom
Scary Roller Coasters
I really dislike roller coasters. Some might even say that they’re something I hate. But my reasons for this hatred are really quite simple. Personally, I just don’t like the feeling that I’m going to die and that’s pretty much exactly the sensation that roller coasters aim to elicit. Paying money to experience a simulation of what the last moments of my life would feel like is not exactly my idea of fun.
But I don’t aim to push my views on these supposed “thrill” rides onto others. It’s not like I go around telling people to not enjoy things that they love just because they don’t appeal to me. Just like I’ve never stopped anyone from eating onion rings or playing charades, I’ve never told anyone that they shouldn’t enjoy roller coasters. And yet, as a coaster-hater, I’m continually challenged by people who won’t accept that I just don’t have fun on them.
People who I confide in with this dislike constantly search for an underlying reason for the hatred. Like, I must get sick on them or I must think they’re unsafe. Neither of these things are true. First of all, I don’t get sick, I just get terrified because they are terrifying. And I’ve never questioned their safety. I don’t think I’m going to die when I ride a roller coaster, I just know that the roller coaster is designed to make me think I’m going to die. And it does a goddamn great job of it. So please, don’t force me to pretend to enjoy these death-simulators just because you like them and let me watch you from the teacup ride in peace.
Written by Brad McLeod
