Conspiracy

Dozens of individuals wearing hazmat suits, extracting and packaging maple syrup from large metal tins. They are in a Blusson Hall lecture hall and the maple syrup tins have American flags on them.
4 min 0 2063

The Peak investigates: Maple Syrup Gate

Mason Mattu March 20, 2025

As an investigative journalist with The Peak, I have taken it upon myself to investigate the most harrowing and shocking secrets hiding behind the asbestos-filled halls of SFU. Let me warn you, it isn’t pretty. Last week, I set out on my latest mission after receiving a very disturbing anonymous tip:  To whom this may concern. Every time I walk through Blusson Hall, I get a shiver down my spine. It smells peculiar — like the Care Bears on steroids. It smells like expired m-m-maple syrup. I have lost so much sleep over this. The smell just doesn’t go away!…

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2 min 0 1925

SFUnexplained: There are aliens among us

Kyla Dowling June 7, 2021

The Day The Earth Stood Still, The 6th Day, The Fly II: what do all these movies have in common?  They all were filmed on SFU’s Burnaby campus, yes. But that’s not all: these movies are also part of a…

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3 min 0 1657

SFUnexplained: The hair-raising truth about SFU’s construction

Clarence Ndabahwerize May 31, 2021

Listen up, sheeple! SFU builds stuff for themselves, not for our wellbeing or our general interest. A lot of you may say you aren’t surprised, but what comes next will blow your minds!  Recently uncovered documents mysteriously emailed to The…

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2 min 0 1567

Zoom isn’t angry, just disappointed

Amrit Randhawa May 11, 2021

Conspiracy theories greatly endanger contemporary universities. Professors rightly assert rationality’s importance: no labs produced COVID-19 as a bioweapon, no ice walls border Earth's edge, and Zoom definitely understands everything we do. Indeed, Zoom has gained consciousness! ‘Tis no mere conspiracy;…

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