As an investigative journalist with The Peak, I have taken it upon myself to investigate the most harrowing and shocking secrets hiding behind the asbestos-filled halls of SFU. Let me warn you, it isn’t pretty. Last week, I set out on my latest mission after receiving a very disturbing anonymous tip: To whom this may concern. Every time I walk through Blusson Hall, I get a shiver down my spine. It smells peculiar — like the Care Bears on steroids. It smells like expired m-m-maple syrup. I have lost so much sleep over this. The smell just doesn’t go away!…
Continue reading
The Day The Earth Stood Still, The 6th Day, The Fly II: what do all these movies have in common? They all were filmed on SFU’s Burnaby campus, yes. But that’s not all: these movies are also part of a…
Continue reading
Listen up, sheeple! SFU builds stuff for themselves, not for our wellbeing or our general interest. A lot of you may say you aren’t surprised, but what comes next will blow your minds! Recently uncovered documents mysteriously emailed to The…
Continue reading
Conspiracy theories greatly endanger contemporary universities. Professors rightly assert rationality’s importance: no labs produced COVID-19 as a bioweapon, no ice walls border Earth's edge, and Zoom definitely understands everything we do. Indeed, Zoom has gained consciousness! ‘Tis no mere conspiracy;…
Continue reading