SPOOF: SFU’s Firsts and Lasts of 2016

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Firsts

March 13 – First time president Petter emerged from his office after five months of hibernation

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April 21 – First time the Highland Pub shockingly announced they were running a deficit

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June 3 – First time an SFSS president had to resign due to not being a registered student

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July 6 – First time Pokémon had the chance to earn SFU degrees

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August 4 – First time we had real and accessible frozen yogurt via Menchies (inb4 Yeti Yogurt because fuck that place)

September 1 – First time the Tim Hortons at West Mall decided to go with a modern one-line ordering system

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December 18 – First time people realized that having a university on top of a mountain may have been a bad idea

Lasts

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January 10 – Last time inviting someone for “avocado and chill” on campus was innocent

April 21 – Last time any of us had to subject ourselves to the Highland Pub

June 30 – Last time we had to hear the ridiculous idea of a gondola going up Burnaby mountain

August 31 – Last time there was any hope of a stadium on SFU’s Burnaby campus

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October 7 – Last time an SFU student was able to say their grad class was from the shittiest year ever

November 21 – Last time we had to hear about how much Darien hates Build SFU

December 19 – Last time a blood ritual was performed to summon the 135 at its scheduled time

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