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Build SFU accidentally submits foosball table as stadium proposal

BURNABY — The architects contracted by Build SFU to build a new SUB and stadium for SFU released their incredibly ambitious plans for a new stadium this week, but according to Build SFU the design is a mistake.

The proposed stadium which is set to be 10 times larger than an average football field and built on top of four 200 meter high columns is apparently the result of a simple miscommunication. 

“When we were presenting the new SUB ideas, we made a scale model of what it would look like to show to students,” explained a representative for Perkins+Will, the project’s architects. “When we got to the Build SFU Think Tank we saw that they had done the same with the stadium so we decided to get a jump start on planning that.”

Not realizing that the scale-model stadium was actually just a foosball table set up to draw students into their offices, the architects got to work on the blueprints for the new stadium immediately. 

“Sure it seemed infeasible, outrageously expensive, and downright insane, but we didn’t want to offend them,” the architect told The Peak. “It took weeks to come up with a design that was even remotely structurally sound but we got there eventually.”

In a surprise unveiling on Friday, the architects showed off the new stadium plans to students who were much less excited than they had anticipated.

Instead of being carried out of the room on shoulders and sung praises, the architects were simply met with perplexed reactions and questions about how much the new stadium would cost.

Unfortunately, the architects say they’re too far into the project now to go with a different, less ridiculous design and that, due to the complex nature of the stadium, they no longer have the funds to complete the SUB building.

“It’s a real shame about the mix-up but even though the SUB isn’t going to happen, I still think everyone’s going to love the new stadium,” continued the architect. “Yeah, there might not be any room for seating and it’s so high up that no one can even get to the field but still those giant number cubes for keeping score are pretty cool.”

Construction on the stadium is supposed to commence in the fall and be completed in 2027. While no sports teams will be able to use the stadium, it is expected to bring tourism to SFU with people eager to witness the “world’s biggest waste of money.” 

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