Woohoo: smiling

Who is going to argue that smiling isn’t flippin’ great? Someone who has a serious misconception about how to live life, that’s who.

I used to think I smiled too much. I remember doing so as a teen in less-than-comfortable situations (and, as a teen, I found nearly every situation as such). The negative attitude I developed toward smiling came from using it to put on a persona. Smiling was a way to avoid being myself, to just be agreeable, to be accepted by others. It was an indication of that fear of unacceptance.

Smiles don’t have to be that way. Smiling can be a kind of surrender, a moment of vulnerability, a moment to be shared. It can be a moment to genuinely engage with someone else because your smile is a window into you.

If you’re holding back a smile, are you holding back opening up to someone? Give it a try. You might find freedom in that vulnerability.

Boohoo: telling me to smile

Don’t tell me to smile.

Sometimes I look a little glum. Maybe it’s my face: it might sag a little around the edges; maybe my forehead is a little low. Maybe it’s because sometimes I am a little glum.

It’s okay to be unhappy sometimes. It’s okay to go through periods of sadness, or of seriousness. That’s a part of being human.

But not smiling doesn’t necessarily indicate depression. And even if it does, so what? The stigma that makes depression something that others feel they must call out and chastise is surely what perpetuates it for many.

The next time you want to tell someone to smile, ask yourself why you’re assuming you know that person. Ask yourself why someone else’s emotions are such a threat to your own self-security.

And if you see non-smilers, tell them you like their shirt, and that they should never stop being themselves. It’ll go a lot farther.