Hyundai is reportedly soon to give a whole new meaning to the term “gas tank.” It’s only a matter of weeks before the company introduces its new Tucson Fuel Cell car which is run on neither gasoline nor electricity, but poop.
Human fecal matter will be the sole fueler of this automobile, and while I envision a potentially disastrous marketing campaign, I also see, should this campaign work, the exponential benefits for our environment and for saving the dollars in our bank accounts.
How does poo translate to power? First we eat, then we digest, then we flush. Once our waste has been flushed it will be released into an airless tank called an anaerobic “digester” (yum). In this tank, our crap will then be broken down by microbes which release methane and carbon dioxide. These gasses will go to a public pump to be put into the fuel cell where the methane is converted to hydrogen to fuel the vehicle.
At first, this concept may seem a little less than appetizing; among the immediate drawbacks that come to mind is driving with a farm-smell reminiscent of the Chilliwack highway. But the concept of poo-fuel is brilliant. What more practical use can you think of for excrement, with the hydrocarbons from it now being used rather than wasted? Don’t answer that.
I do not smell poop, I smell success.
Poop-pump stations would allow for more businesses to emerge, hence contributing to more job opportunities, and would possibly provide this fuel at a much cheaper rate than gasoline or diesel.
The use of poop as fuel would also surpass the high environmentally-friendly standards that have recently caused a big hoopla with the introduction of electrically-powered hybrid vehicles. According to Hyundai, the Fuel Cell (which will produce zero gas emissions) will only take three minutes to fill, as opposed to the hours it may take to charge electric vehicles.
Furthermore, these cars can reportedly drive up to 483 kilometres (300 miles) before they need to be re-poo’ed; this is longer than your average electric vehicle.
Sure, some people may question whether we have enough hydrogen to allow most of our current vehicles to be replaced by poo-powered ones. But I say that with the leaps and bounds by which technology advances, and the fact that hydrogen is the most abundant element in the universe, I have no doubt that scientists will fit the pieces together and produce something that will allow all of our vehicles to be replaced with hydrogen-powered ones.
With this innovation comes a negative. With the probability of water being taxed in the near future as it becomes an extremely, if not the most, valuable resource, taxing poop is a possibility. But I’m okay with it. If there is any place I don’t mind my future tax dollars going, it would definitely be towards powering my car.
So now, if we want to drive longer distances, I guess we’ll just have to eat a little more. Or is this a bit of an overstatement? My point is that I do not smell poop, I smell success. Success that may, in the midst of roads with the fresh scent of livestock, bring about a more sustainable environment and help us to become more financially content.
