OTTAWA — In an effort to combat their national debts, the governments of Canada, the United States and Mexico, announced yesterday that they have sold the majority of their geographical features to advertisers.

Government officials were quick to defend themselves from the outcry of critics by saying that sports stadiums often have their name sold to the highest bidder and that this was ‘basically the same thing.’

Some of the biggest changes involve the Rocky Mountains being renamed the ‘Coors Light Rocky Mountains,’ Victoria Island is now ‘Victoria’s Secret Island,’ and the Gulf of Mexico was renamed ‘British Petroleum Bay,’ due to an amendment to the recent law which enacts a ‘you break it, you bought it’ policy.

While many have been critical of the decision, claiming that many geographic names carry with them “invaluable historical cultural identities,” the government has largely defended their actions by pointing out that being owned and manipulated by corporations is part of our modern culture, and that this deserves to be reflected in our geographic heritage.

Critics of the renaming have focused on the blatantly oxymoronic renaming of Peace River to Halliburton River, Algonquin Park to Smirnoff Gardens, and Lake Huron to PokerStars.net Lake .

The only geographic feature to retain its name was Hudson’s Bay, whose name was purchased by the Hudson’s Bay Company.