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Lupus thrilled by advances in cancer research

Humour
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EIC
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VANCOUVER — Thanks to the seemingly endless events and promotions designed to bring awareness to and research cancers, the disease is becoming more and more treatable, a development which has thrilled not only those fighting cancer and their families, but also the collection of autoimmune diseases known as Lupus erythematosus.

Lupus, a disease that has always been left in the shadow of even the most obscure forms of cancer, is apparently very excited at the possibility of becoming tomorrow’s “it” illness after scientists crack this whole cancer thing once and for all.

While Lupus is aware that even if somehow all cancers are cured, it’s going to have a tough road ahead of itself with many diseases in a position to challenge it’s ascent to superstar illness fame.

According to scientists researching it, however, Lupus isn’t too concerned about any of its challengers especially the once popular AIDS epidemic which, despite continuing to affect a considerable number of lives, has kept a low media profile of late.

Even though Lupus is confident that cancer research will progress to the point where they become the top-dog of “Runs to conquer . . . ” it has been reported that they have donated millions of dollars to cancer researchers under the name “Anonymous” just in case.

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society