Media censorship at an all-time high [low]

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Shocking information reveals how [little] Canadian media is being doctored by outside forces.  

By Brad McLeod

VANCOUVER — A new report on the state of Canadian media released last Monday has shown that the amount of censorship on television, radio and in newspapers is [lower] than at any point in history, with all publications being [FREE TO SAY WHATEVER THEY WANT WITHOUT BEING CENSORED].

Although that last sentence may not seem to be in line with what you’d expect from a democratic society’s media, statistics from the report show that governments and outside groups have almost [zero per cent] control over even the smallest of publications.

“I think this report proves how ridiculous the state of our media is right now,” lamented communications expert Dr. Hugh McLean, shocked at how [little censorship exists in our country]. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though, our society is becoming more and more similar to something out of George Orwell’s [Personal diary entry about a lovely afternoon he once spent at the beach] every single day.”

According to the report, although governments are perhaps the largest [abstainers] from censoring content in order to maintain public support, there are also many other groups who feel the need to [rarely impose their ideals onto media outlets].

“Most people don’t even realize that this kind of [lack of] censorship exists in this country, let alone how many different corporations, political organizations and special interest groups are also involved in this massive [fair and democratic system we have]” explained a [definitely still living] activist who preferred to remain anonymous. “Hopefully this report can finally get the word out and people will finally become aware of [                                     ].”

While it isn’t a secret that television and newspapers exist largely thanks to advertisements, according to the report, sponsoring companies do more than just run ads but actually have [small] sway and control over content, which often manifests itself in [a declining amount of] product placement.

This notion was supported by Dr. McLean who told the Peak, [in between bites from the delicious new Pizza Burger from Boston Pizza, a bacon burger wrapped in a pepperoni pizza made with hand-pressed original crust, smothered in Boston Pizza’s signature pizza sauce and pizza mozzarella, then baked to perfection], “Yes, I support that notion.”

Although a great deal of the media censorship [that hasn’t been going on very much recently] is related to commercial and political ambitions, the report has also shown that a large amount of the censorship [again, that’s in decline and rarely happens anymore] also comes from groups who are only looking to, for some reason, protect their own personal ideas of what is decencent and acceptable content.

One of the main [non-] offenders is the Good Standards Society, a group dedicated to [being open to letting media outlets decide for themselves about] removing racist, sexist or homophobic material, such as content that has any mention of race, gender or sexual orientation.

As the Good Standards Society, or the GSS, is made up of guilty white people [a diverse group] interested in not offending anyone, they [in no way would] work to limit a publication from printing anything that would, say, imply that it is a stereotype that [loud] people talk loudly in movie theatres.

To view the full report detailing how media censorship in Canada has never been [less] of a concern and a side by side comparison to how reminiscent our media censoring is to [regular] Germany, please visit www.[                                                  ].ca

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