Article by Gary Lim
Photo by Mark Burnham
Last Friday, 23-year-old history major Travis Owens reported that TransLink, the public transportation company that services the Greater Vancouver region, had reached a level of infamy comparable to that of the German paramilitary forces of World War II. He cited increasing ticket prices and excessive wait times at Station Bay Five at Renfrew Skytrain Station, where he takes the bus home.
This public statement came after a period of escalated tensions, when Owens, who failed to pick up his U-pass at one of the dispensaries located on campus, attempted to board the Expo Line Skytrain from King George, only to be asked for his fare card. Sources indicated this is “total bullshit, because it was like Sept. 3 and the only reason I was on the Skytrain was to pick up the stupid U-Pass in the first place.”
According to eyewitnesses, these tensions exploded when Owens was forced then to return to the ticket-vending machine and purchase an adult two-zone pass for $3.75. During his ride up the escalator and wait on the platform Owens went on, drawing further comparisons between TransLink and the facilitators of the slaughter of six million Jews in the flawed pursuit of racial purity, and shouting about how much they generally suck to anyone within earshot.
Initially just calling the group “lazy and greedy,” he segued to other flaws about the company, denouncing the lack of late-night Skytrain service and calling the transit police a bunch of jack-booted thugs who failed to treat riders with the respect they deserve. Not unlike the Shutzstaffel and the series of brutal pogroms instigated against the Jewish people, continued Owens.
“It’s like this, you can practically see the Surrey campus from the Skytrain, and I told the guy that I just needed to take the train two stops and pick up my pass. But all he said was ‘tough.’ I mean, how do you even reason with that?” said Owens. “You can’t. It’s unreasonable. Unreasonable like the campaign of censorship in Germany enacted by the Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Gobbels. Exactly like that,” he added.
“Also, all this construction for the Faregate project. It’s ludicrous how far they’ll go to squeeze a few more pennies out of us. Who know how much longer these faregates will make our commutes? It’s not like the lines at Production and Commercial aren’t already long enough,” he posited.
When The Peak contacted TransLink for a response to the scathing remarks, the mass transportation company expressed sympathy for Owens’s circumstances, but firmly maintained its stance that anyone riding the bus, Skytrain or SeaBus is required to provide valid proof of purchase when asked.
TransLink also assuaged worries that the new Faregate® system, currently in construction, would result in any delays and missed trains. On the contrary, the regional transportation giant expects drastically reduced wait times, especially with the co-implementation of the new mandatory identification armbands for all riders.
