confessional

A guy ordering from his vehicle in a drive thru
4 min 0 1204

CONFESSIONAL: I “pay it forward” in the drive-thru to gain aura points

Noeka Nimmervoll July 14, 2025

Imagine you’re me. A writer, in an age of inflation and AI takeover. Like Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice, “I’ve no money, and no prospects. I’m already a burden to my parents.”  With my permanently low tax bracket, when I want to rizz up a baddie, what do I do? Break the bank? Can’t do that! Ain’t got a bank to break. I’ve gotta rely on my other assets — my supermassive, huge . . . creative mind and my flagrant tendency to break the rules. I can’t be caught stealing, because it’s “illegal and will end up with…

Continue reading Read more
Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
5 min 0 1716

Spring semester confessionals

Nancy La, Alex Masse, and Jacob Mattie April 6, 2021

Attention, adulation, and validation The mortifying ordeal of being known, am I right? And through a shoddy, washed-out webcam by a bunch of strangers all at once? Yeah, really not my scene. I got tired of people I’ll probably never…

Continue reading Read more
Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
3 min 0 1451

CONFESSIONALS: MPA, ALA . . . I couldn’t tell you the difference

Devana Petrovic June 25, 2020

For much too long, I’ve been a pretender. I’ve fooled everyone — but I can’t smile in silence anymore. No, I am not guilty of identity theft (anymore). Worse: I still can’t figure out the difference between APA and MLA. …

Continue reading Read more
Illustration of a closed envelope, with the text, “Confessionals”
3 min 0 1359

CONFESSIONALS: I finally found myself, and everything I found horrified me

Zach Siddiqui March 31, 2020

With my $40 trip to Greece abruptly cancelled, I wasn’t going to give up on self-discovery. And that, really, was my downfall. Ever since my brief stint as a volleyball player in middle school, I’ve felt a pull towards .…

Continue reading Read more