Alyssa Umbal
Bargaining team brushing up on their stalling tactic skills
October 10, 2023Ah, the sweet symphony of bureaucracy. It’s like a finely tuned orchestra playing the most annoying melody you’ve ever heard. As the TSSU battles it out for a fair contract, the employer’s bargaining team has been brushing up on their stalling tactic skills with the dedication of a procrastinating student cramming for finals. Picture this: a dimly lit room, the scent of lukewarm coffee, and burnt-out ideas hanging in the air. SFU’s bargaining team, dressed in their best “I’m here to negotiate . . . eventually” attire, huddle around a conference table littered with half-empty Timbit boxes and enough paperwork…
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Creative Corner: Five economic ways to spice up your home this fall
September 28, 2023I’ve spent the last few weeks upping my home decorating game. There’s something about cute and colourful organizers in my workspace and a string of fairy lights over my bed that makes a home feel more homely. As a student,…
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Canvas to ban phrases “I agree with you” and “jumping off what you just said”
September 26, 2023SFU News —- In a groundbreaking move that’s set to change the way we communicate with our fellow students online, Canvas has unveiled its new chatbot to rid academia of dreaded copycat commenters. Are you tired of staying up all…
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Please stop coming to class
September 18, 2023Okay, it’s been a week; please stop being on campus all at the same time. Ah, the start of a new semester! There’s nothing quite like the buzz of activity in the AQ. Well, actually, there’s nothing quite like the…
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We can’t forget disabled queers during pride
July 31, 2023Editor's note: This piece was written before the Vancouver Pride Society announced an accessible viewing zone with mask mandates in place, in response to community concerns. Vancouver Pride is coming up this August. It’s supposed to be a time for…
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Course enrollment chaos is upon us
July 27, 2023Ah, the sweet smell of course enrollment stress is in the air. The time has come to battle the Hunger Games of registration, “and may the odds be ever in your favour.” Tension rises as you step up to the…
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Will U-Pass Your Summer Course?
July 19, 2023Dear Peakie, I was at the movies watching The Little Mermaid because, duh, and the fire alarm went off, and we had to evacuate! So obviously, I complain to the manager about making us wait outside for no reason. There’s…
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Top ten reasons to stress about midterms
June 29, 2023Well, fellow students, it’s that time of the semester again. The blissful midterm season is in full swing. This year’s summer midterm agenda is overflowing with all-nighters, last-minute cram sessions, regrets of “why did I leave this until the last…
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My spice tolerance is embarrassing
June 23, 2023Have you had the miserable experience of dealing with someone who can’t take a hint? Can’t take no for an answer? And somehow thinks sweet chilli chips (I’m talking about the Doritos version) are spicy. Two out of three? Good…
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Local guy sprints to catch the SkyTrain, knowing damn well the next one arrives in two minutes
June 21, 2023We’ve all seen him — that one guy who causes a scene at the SkyTrain station. The guy who appears out of nowhere and leaps up the escalator two steps at a time. Like a lightning bolt, he sprints through…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]