By: Mason Mattu, Humour Editor
Q: Who inspires you?
Matt Gordon (first year applied mathematics): “Those folks who write WikiHow articles. Thanks to them, I know how to give someone a hickey. That’s some inspiring and life-changing shit. I’m sure my non-existent girlfriend will love it.”
Katherine Xie (third year world literature): “Kim Kardashian. She once told the masses to “get your fucking ass up and work,” and I wholeheartedly agree. She’s a self-made billionaire (with a bit of her famous daddy’s help), a fashion icon, and a working-class woman. I betcha Kardashian works 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. just so she can feel pity for us underlings . . . Honestly, if hustle culture had a plastic face, it would be 40% hard work, 20% motivation, and 100% Kim Kardashian.”
Christopher Brodzki (fourth year Communication): “Whoever does SFU media relations work. They deserve a cookie after defending the undefendables.”
Dominik Green (third year Beedie): “That guy who like invented those like beer sleeves that are designed for like pop drinks. Like, truly inspiring work. That way the like frat party doesn’t like . . . you know . . . stop in lecture!” (takes a sip of “Diet Coke”)
Sally Gord (second year physics): “Susan Boyle. She made it socially acceptable to peak after your 40s, which gives me a little bit of hope. Too bad I don’t sing.”
