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Wake up and smell the bacon

WEB-smell app-Mark Burnham

Apparently, the time for sniffing our iPhones has arrived. “Scented” mobile apps are an emerging product, along with their small mobile accessories which plug right into the headphone jack. The accessory emits a puff of scent in accordance with whatever actions are being played out on the iPhone screen.

I have to say, the more I ponder this concept, the more I dislike it.

With mobile apps such as “Scentee,” an app based out of Japan, users can now send these smells to each other all across the globe. “Scentee” comes with over 100 different scents, such as coffee, roses, chocolate and even corn soup (yuck?).

When I finally wake up, I will groggily wander into the kitchen only to realize there’s actually no real bacon?

Koki Tsubouchi, CEO of “ChatPerf” and creator of “Scentee,” claims that the new dimension of messages that scented apps provide can bring people closer together.

Alright, I understand how this may be intriguing at first. Receiving a pleasantly-scented message from a friend or loved one may add a nice touch to text messages. But I think we should seriously consider the negative aspects of scented apps. And trust me, there is a plentitude.

Apart from the potential for scents to become old very quickly, a downfall of an app such as “Scentee” is that it’s currently only able to hold one scent at a time. The user would have to reload the plug-in accessory with a new scent-chip in order to receive a different smell.

In other words, there are no surprise smells here. If a lover is going to send you roses, they’re going to have to notify you first. Otherwise, if you have “asparagus” plugged in, your Valentine’s Day might not turn out so hot.

Additionally, I have a beef with food-scents (pun intended). I’ve noticed that most of the scents one can buy are various types of food. This is a bit of a tease. I’m even more irritated when I read about apps, such as “Poptopia,” where bursts of popcorn scent are puffed into your face as you pop the kernels on screen. I enjoy junk food as much as any other guy; if I’m going to smell it, I’ll also to want to eat it.

But what bothers me the most is an Oscar Mayer app entitled “Wake Up and Smell the Bacon.” Mayer gives us a supposedly ingenious alarm clock that awakens you to the sounds and smells of “fresh, sizzling bacon.” Now, I think I speak for many when I say that as a Westerner, bacon is life. There is no experience equivalent to that of crispy, greasy, salty bacon, especially first thing in the morning.

Considering this, I’d like to know what Oscar Mayer was thinking. Why would you tease your consumers with the illusion of bacon in the morning? What an abysmal misuse of food-scented mobile technology. It’s already difficult enough for me to wake up. When I finally do, you’re going to make me groggily wander into the kitchen only to realize there’s no actual bacon? Bullshit! That would offset the mood of my entire day.

If you think scent accessories are a good idea, think again. Prepare to be underwhelmed by boring, artificial scents.

Do you really love the smell of flowers? Pick some. Love the smell of food? Learn to cook. Nothing, especially not scented apps, can come close to the real deal.

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