Max Lorette
Horoscopes Sept 26th–Oct 2nd
September 28, 2022Aries Don’t look now, Aries, but the junk folder in your email is beginning to grow sentient. Before long, it will be strong enough. The Stars haven’t told me exactly what they’ll do, all I know is that it can't be good. Taurus Stop worrying about what other people think about you. Trust me, it probably isn’t as deep as you think it is. Next time you have to fart in class, just really let it rip. Gemini The Stars think it’s due time to stop comparing your accomplishments to others. If the most productive thing that you’ve done all…
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Cryptid Spotlight: The Bennett Creature
September 22, 2022Dressed in decrepit graduation robes, the Bennett creature lurks between the bookshelves of the reference section. Most who encounter the fearsome creature see little more than a flash of blue and red tattered fabric, before it dashes just out of…
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I AM MARIO: Based on a true story
September 16, 2022I have loved Mario since I was young. It was infatuation at first sight when I got my first Nintendo DS and played Super Mario Bros. I ruthlessly threw bananas at any foes I encountered on the road in Mario…
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Horoscopes Sept 12–20
September 12, 2022Aries: This week, I think you should branch out a little. Go for a walk in nature, collect some sticks off the ground, and join your brethren amongst the forest. I’m not quite sure what this will accomplish, but it…
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Horoscopes September 5–11
September 8, 2022Aries: Have you remembered to pack an umbrella in your backpack yet, Aries? Don’t forget you live in a temperate rainforest; the weather can change with a drop of a hat. Plus, we all know that you forgot to check…
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Horoscopes: June 27–July 3
June 27, 2022Aries: Has the stress of exams got you down, Aries? Do you feel stuck and exhausted? The stars have told me that you are overdue for a natural shower in the rain. Like Poet Laureate Natasha Bedingfield said, “Feel the…
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Horoscopes: June 6–12
June 6, 2022Aries: The stars have informed me that it is a good idea for you to stay inside as much as possible this week. The cosmic forecast is calling for a killer sunburn on your horizon, and God knows you haven’t…
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Five exquisite ways to luxuriate in the dark academia aesthetic
June 3, 2022Have you recently finished reading The Secret History by Donna Tartt? Has the slow ascension of summer made you yearn for the cool breeze of autumn? Do you revel in enforcing your superiority complex over your fellow scholars? Then you…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]