Halloween 2025
Autopsy Report: Your basic white dad
November 11, 2025The following is a transcription of a voice recording from a mortician’s autopsy. Testing, testing. OK, time is 8:14 a.m. on Saturday, October 14, 2017. Name of deceased: Doug Graves. Location of death — uhh — the daughter, Abigail, said she realized something was wrong after her dad hadn’t left the bathroom for 9 hours. How did she not realize before? Well, anyway. Location: Their home at . . . let me see . . . 401 Fortuna Road. It was Friday the 13th on the day he died. Eerie, isn’t it? OK, and let me poke in his throat…
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SCARY STORIES: Vampire spotted at the Bennett Library
November 11, 2025It all went down before a history midterm, on the sixth floor of the library. I was going over my notes, double-fisting two coffees and an energy drink, when I felt a cold gust of wind . . . sending…
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BEEDIE BRO: Ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and great investment opportunities
November 11, 2025Yes, I still go trick-or-treating, just not for the candy. What a lot of people without the Beedie mindset don’t realize is that Halloween is the perfect networking opportunity. See, while everyone else is going door to door picking up…
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
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For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]