Amrit Randhawa
A taxonomy of professorship
Amrit Randhawa July 12, 2021The Non-Animus: In the realm of professing, our first species, the Non-Animus, gives the least fucks. Ancient philosophers theorized that human beings are comprised of two parts: body and soul. The Non-Animus’ soul says students can kiss their body’s ass. They arrive late to most lectures while admonishing lateness from students. The Non-Animus severely punishes late assignments while taking half the semester to grade them. Despite writing grade-threateningly poor instructions, they insist on “university-level writing.” Truly, the Non-Animus represents academia’s greatest hypocrite. Likely, tenure empowers the Non-Animus’ infuriating laziness. The Anal-Retentor: Professordom’s fussiest fellow, the Anal-Retentor maintains low-level…
Continue reading
Zoom isn’t angry, just disappointed
Amrit Randhawa May 11, 2021Conspiracy theories greatly endanger contemporary universities. Professors rightly assert rationality’s importance: no labs produced COVID-19 as a bioweapon, no ice walls border Earth's edge, and Zoom definitely understands everything we do. Indeed, Zoom has gained consciousness! ‘Tis no mere conspiracy;…
Continue reading
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
