A Very Humourous Christmas
Hallmark presents: Love on the Mountaintop
December 20, 2025MAGGIE BENSTON CENTRE - REGISTRAR SERVICES DESK SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY HOLLY is conversing with REGISTRAR OFFICE LADY. The room is grey with no Christmas decorations in sight. HOLLY (to REGISTRAR OFFICE LADY) Yes, that’s Holly. H-O-L-L-Y. I know, you probably haven’t met many people around here with my name — I’m kinda named after Christmas! I said goodbye to the small-town life and moved to New York to start a career in professional Christmas tree tinsel placing at Macy’s. I had to make it as a small-town Burnaby girl with passion, a Christmasy name, and my $500,000 trust fund from…
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The Clausgate Scandal: How Big Beverage tried to cancel Christmas
December 20, 2025By the time the headline “Santa Claus Hates Everyone” ricocheted across the internet and news outlets, the world had already begun cancelling Christmas. Children sobbed into their half-eaten gingerbread men. Christmas influencers rebranded as “seasonally ambivalent creators.” One particular parenting…
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Grandma got run over (more like splashed so badly that she fell flat on her face) by a reindeer!
December 20, 2025A 92-year-old grandmother was swept off her feet earlier this morning by what bystanders initially identified as a rogue reindeer the size of a school bus skidding down Hastings Street. The oversized reindeer was first spotted by unsuspecting pedestrians at…
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Comic: It’s coming on Christmas . . .
December 20, 2025Photography/creative geniusesness: Jack Baron (Contributor), Katie Walkley (Peak Associate), Mason Mattu (Humour Editor)
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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]
Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.
For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]