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Amazing Grace N. Howl: Co-op D’État

Humour
EIC
EIC
1 min.
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1207

In the wake of a godawful and miserable loss to some nobody for SFSS president, I have decided that I, Grace N. Howl, will instead be setting my sights on something bigger. I have locked my hawk-eyes on something much more prestigious and rewarding than any silly presidential race. Why play imaginary president when you can take over the boss of your company and dominate your workplace, one measly co-worker at a time?

That’s right, nerds. Eat your heart out, because Grace N. Howl is coming to your workplace, destroying the competition, and coming out on top as queen of literally everything.

I’ve decided to take a break from school this semester and work with (hopefully) mature adults who won’t complain about microscopic things like endorsements, or who go around misplacing perfectly fine newspapers as a way to vent their anger. This is child’s play, and Grace has left the playpen.

Instead of flaunting myself around campus, I am currently on a co-op term with the City of Surrey. I work in this unit that focuses on Urban Planning and Community Development, but if you ask me, that sounds like a killer excuse to begin my eventual takeover of the city. It’s like fate that I’m here, working in a place that deals so closely with how to make the city a better place. I know that I will be just the person to do it.

I brought great ideas to my supervisor, like building walls around Surrey’s city borders and connecting our SkyTrain system to Coquitlam and getting them to pay for it, but she just laughed and shook her head and told me to scurry off to my little cubicle and continue my data entry. How am I supposed to thrive in this mind-numbing environment with straightforward numbers that even a raccoon can input? This is nonsense! The city won’t become great if you just keep track of how many bike parking spots we have or where we can put some stupid sculpture up.

With my expertise and cunning ability to be everything, to be the best, I will no doubt take over this ship. No problem. Call it the SS Surrey Storm.

*All documentation has been personally received by Rachel Wong*

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Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

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© The Peak Publications Society

Simon Fraser University’s independent student newspaper since 1965.

For advertising inquiries: [email protected]
For promotional inquiries: [email protected]

© The Peak Publications Society