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Listless: Rejected Puns

By Gary Lim

  • Victims of bear attack describe events as “Grizzly”
  •  Vegans killed in chickpea avalanche; foul play suspected, possible hummuside
  •  Drug ring operating out of bee farm, busted after three month sting
  •  Yatzhee factory fire leads to dicey circumstances
  •  Tycoon makes krilling in the whale hunting industry
  •  Yogi master suspect in pre-meditated murder
  •  Paper jam edges out cardboard marmalade for county fair blue ribbon
  •  New Westminster dry cleaners found to be front for money laundering
  •  Conductor instrumental in orchestrating elaborate “symphony“ murders
  • Statutory Grapists: Raisin Hell
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SFU rejoins U SPORTS’ Canada West in 2027

By: Jonah Lazar, Staff Writer Following SFU’s decision last September to leave the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), the US’ premier collegiate sports governing body, the university is set to begin competing in Canada’s collegiate sports governing body, U SPORTS, starting in the fall of 2027. On May 7, SFU was accepted into Canada West, U SPORTS’ western division, as a probationary member. SFU received probationary membership from U SPORTS at the U SPORTS annual meeting at the beginning of June.  In U SPORTS, SFU will compete in the Canada West conference against 17 other universities in Western Canada, including UBC, UVIC, and other universities in BC, Manitoba, Alberta, and Saskatchewan. SFU’s decision to leave the NCAA championships last September was largely due to budgetary concerns. The...

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SFU rejoins U SPORTS’ Canada West in 2027

By: Jonah Lazar, Staff Writer Following SFU’s decision last September to leave the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), the US’ premier collegiate sports governing body, the university is set to begin competing in Canada’s collegiate sports governing body, U SPORTS, starting in the fall of 2027. On May 7, SFU was accepted into Canada West, U SPORTS’ western division, as a probationary member. SFU received probationary membership from U SPORTS at the U SPORTS annual meeting at the beginning of June.  In U SPORTS, SFU will compete in the Canada West conference against 17 other universities in Western Canada, including UBC, UVIC, and other universities in BC, Manitoba, Alberta, and Saskatchewan. SFU’s decision to leave the NCAA championships last September was largely due to budgetary concerns. The...

Block title

SFU rejoins U SPORTS’ Canada West in 2027

By: Jonah Lazar, Staff Writer Following SFU’s decision last September to leave the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), the US’ premier collegiate sports governing body, the university is set to begin competing in Canada’s collegiate sports governing body, U SPORTS, starting in the fall of 2027. On May 7, SFU was accepted into Canada West, U SPORTS’ western division, as a probationary member. SFU received probationary membership from U SPORTS at the U SPORTS annual meeting at the beginning of June.  In U SPORTS, SFU will compete in the Canada West conference against 17 other universities in Western Canada, including UBC, UVIC, and other universities in BC, Manitoba, Alberta, and Saskatchewan. SFU’s decision to leave the NCAA championships last September was largely due to budgetary concerns. The...