Hey Instagram fan girly pop queens! It’s your influencer queen here. You won’t believe the level of growth I’ve been on lately — both as an influencer and as a girl in the world. I’ve got lots to celebrate, which means that you have lots to read. Consider this your one nonschool book for the week!
So, I was running a bit late for my GSWS tutorial. Totally not my fault, I was too busy hyping up a girl waiting for her Renaissance coffee who had clearly gone through a breakup. I can’t just walk by a literal goddess without reminding her that she’s a bad bitch and that dating is a total fad.
OK, so since I was just a little behind on schedule, I knew I wouldn’t have time to take the stairs for my usual mid-day glute workout (which I totally recommended for taking your Pilates on the go — it even helps the hot girl tummy aches). I absolutely detest being late — not only is it RUDE, but my presence totally distracts everyone and draws attention away from the fugly TA. It’s not just the sound of my Labubus knocking against each other, it’s an aura thing. Anyways, instead of taking the stairs, I fiercely strutted to the elevator and you won’t believe what happened next.
A couple of seconds after pressing the button, the metal doors parted, and down from the roof descended my brand new PRIVATE JET to pick me up in my time of need. The university seems to have finally noticed that I am the influencer queen of our school, and I deserve to be treated as such. But, honestly, I know that true artists are never appreciated in their time, so I think it must have been sent from the universe as a reminder that I am Her chosen one.
The reveal was JAW–DROPPING. I walked in and found myself surrounded by cardboard-padded walls. Talk about safety! Now I use it all the time, and I’m like, totally getting my daily meditation in while plotting my next post. #Mindfulness #SpiritualAwakening.
I’ve even noticed that they’re putting a bunch of effort into maintaining it for me because sometimes I see total randos heading in there. When I’m in the jet at the same time as the cleaning people, I can’t even tell what they’re supposed to be doing. It’s so sweet that they’re keeping all of their hard work behind the scenes for me so that I can enjoy my celeb moment free from worries.
I know some people out there are scared to see a woman thriving, but don’t even bother hating on this post because after uploading, I’m gonna shut off my notifications and see where else this private jet can take me (surely high above you haters). Get ready for some legendary travel content!
Love and kisses, your favourite totally not clueless/literally a genius influencer queen.
