Written by Meera Eragoda, Staff Writer
From: hopsonhops22@brewz.com
Subject: The Revolution Stouts Now
Comrades in Ales,
Have you ever found yourself wondering about the struggle that so many of us are facing of late? You go in to get a half-sleeve tattoo of the East Van sign (even though you live in Gastown) with some hops or wheat or whatever, but it turns out that you can only afford the first session, and now you’re walking around with the outline, not knowing when you’ll be able to get it completed?
Or how about being expected to exude a certain image at this job of ours? You know, the hipster uniform of a perfectly maintained fade and a gentrified lumberman’s beard along with the ageless plaid?
Are you finding that it’s getting more and more difficult to enjoy the pure and simple pretentiousness of your morning pour over (or cold brew in the summer) because you’re worried about how, sooner or later, people will start realizing that women were brewing beer for thousands of years before you?
This is the plight of us, the underserved (in every way except beer). We need to unionize to make sure our two very simple demands are met!
- FAIR WAGES commensurate with the rate of inflation on beard oil and tattoos.
AND
2. JOB SECURITY in case people start realizing that women are strong enough to do these jobs.
Our positions are ones of prestige. But are we really being valued as highly as we should? Are we being treated fairly?
Let’s fight for our rights and make sure we secure our place in the dimness of the bar, the dimness of the pub, the dimness of the generic gentrified craft brewery. After all, our pasty white skin can’t handle the sun. And we need to retain our privilege somehow, right?
Join us this Friday at 3 a.m. along the sidewalks of Granville Street with your IPAs in hand. It’s time to BREWstorm a way forward.
