POINT: This isn’t high school anymore, you’ve got to take some accountability

by Dr. Ian McLean, SFU Professor

Listen up, this isn’t playtime anymore okay? You’ve got to start being responsible for your own education and buckle down. Now, I haven’t been to a high school in a long time and my memory may be a little fuzzy but I can tell you that it is completely different than university.

As a university professor, I’m not going to hold your hand. You’re going to have to do your own work. We’re not just going to spoon-feed you answers, or let you hand in an assignment five months late without any consequences and we are certainly not going to pay you $100 every time you bring an apple to class! Do you understand?

Professors here are not going to be your friends like teachers were in high school! Here, you don’t go bowling with your instructors on weekends and call them cap’m, and university classrooms aren’t always going to be filled with balloons and pudding! Okay? This isn’t high school, you need to grow up and face reality!

COUNTER: Oh shit, I’ve been in the wrong place for the past two weeks!

by Jeremy, Student

Sorry, so this isn’t Burnaby Mountain Secondary? Dammit, I’m in the wrong place.Thanks for helping me out.

Oh god, it’s been two weeks, I’m going to be so behind! How could I not have realized this wasn’t a high school earlier.

No wonder everything you were trying to teach seemed like it was about two to three years too advanced for me. I’m sorry for complaining to you about not being clear enough on due dates or reading assignments.

You know, now that I think about it, I thought it was kind of weird when I didn’t see any pudding or balloons anywhere . . . and then that look you gave me when I called you ‘cap’m’ and asked if you wanted to go bowling, it makes sense now. Sorry, for wasting your time.