Home Humour SFU Student updates

SFU Student updates

Your friendly fall reminders are here

0
ILLUSTRATION: Courtesy of The Peak

By: Hailey Miller, Staff Writer

This message is for all fall-obsessed undergraduate and graduate students as of October 2023.

REMINDER: CLASSES CANCELLED ON HALLOWEEN

This is your second-to-last reminder that classes, across all campuses, will be cancelled this Halloween. A survey was sent out earlier this semester asking students if they’d be haunting this Hallow’s Eve, and the results are in: 100% of students reported that they’d be participating in the great Haunt Out. The Haunt Out will take place on October 31 from 12:00 a.m.–11:59 p.m. and will consist of parading around the campuses, concocting potions, and performing wicked spells to make assignments and exams vanish into thin air. Admin will happily close the university in solidarity with these Haunt Out festivities, rather than pay their workers a fair wage.

FREE PUMPKIN SPICE THIS OCTOBER

Calling all pumpkin spice fanatics! The university will be doling out its fair share of everything pumpkin-spiced 24 hours a day, all month long. You want a pumpkin spice latte? We’ve got it. Pumpkin spice scones? Yup. Pumpkin spice ice cream? That too! Don’t forget to pick up your own pumpkin spice mix pack filled with cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, cloves, a dash of autumn leaves, and a drop of witches’ brew. Available locations: Witch Mall Centre, Academic Vamprangle, Jack-O-Lantern Pond, Carve-Vocation Mall, Gourdcorp Centre for the Haunts, Cauldronstone, and the Graveyard Observatory.

2023 PUMPKIN CARVING CONTEST

It’s the great pumpkin, SFU! There’s no better time to creep the patch for the perfect pumpkin, and put those carving skills to the test. The Pumpkin Carving Contest is on now until Hallow’s Eve and takes place in Carve-Vocation Mall from sunset to sunrise, when the Jack-O-Lanterns glow. Pick up a pumpkin from Gourdcorp today, and try your hand at etching a spooky face. Top prizes include: permission to skip class, a strong cup of witches’ brew, a pumpkin spice starter pack, and enough candy to make your teeth rot.

BURNABY CAMPUS TO BE TRANSFORMED INTO CORN MAZE

The rumours are true — the Burnaby campus will be transformed into a corn maze later this month. The highly-anticipated maze will feature inedible corn the height of the mountain, unfathomably deep mud pits that are sure to get your witch boots stuck and make you late for Wicked Spells class, and more than enough scare crows to fright you out of midterm stress, making professors shriek. Entry is by either pumpkin spice consumption or potion concoction. Discount offered for those riding on brooms.

RESIDENCE HAUNTED HOUSE CONTEST — OPEN NOW

Trick-or-treat, witches! May the best haunted residence win. SFU’s annual Residence Haunted House Contest is back by popular demand. Decorate your vampire lair with unfinished assignments, overflowing readings, rotten pumpkins, and skeletons from the science department. Invite your goblin friends and ghostly acquaintances alike. Bonus for those serving up homemade witches’ brew and poisonous potions. No doubt Shadbolt House will be going hard! Submit your entries by midnight on Hallow’s Eve. Top prizes include: egging the winning house, being suspended from the university, and failing your next exam.

START STRESSING ABOUT THE SPRING SEMESTER TODAY!

We’re already a month into the fall semester, which means it’s time to start stressing about the spring semester! Have you considered your courses yet? Autumn is the perfect time to fall into the trick-or-treat trap of concocting a wicked course schedule following the season of the witch. Register your stress levels today and receive a half-off discount on the stress of two semesters for the price of one! Extra pumpkin spice included with each early-gourd registration!  

NO COMMENTS

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Exit mobile version