Home Humour An essay by someone who never read the book

An essay by someone who never read the book

Frankenstein just got a whole lot more interesting

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PHOTO: JESHOOTS / Unsplash

By: Craig Allan, SFU Student

Frankenstein is about the monster Frankenstein who is created by a doctor, also named Frankenstein. Dr. Frankenstein puts together the monster and then shocks it with lightning. Like, a whole lot of lightning, to get Frankenstein to come alive and then celebrates by shouting “He’s alive, it’s alive!” 

Frankenstein is tall. Like really tall. Like if three children were wearing a really long trench coat, that would be the size of Frankenstein. And he walks all stiff because his joints are still getting used to moving.

When Frankenstein goes into town, the townspeople don’t like him. They are all like “Hey, you . . . you are all weird looking, and we don’t like that.” Then he sees fire and it scares him because fire is all hot and stuff.  

In the end, Frankenstein dies because the town did not like him and that made him sad. So he dies. From being sad. The book is about Frankenstein, but it is also about not being mean to people who are different. Being mean is not nice. 

Maybe Frankenstein would have felt better if he had another person just like him, a bride of Frankenstein or something. Then, there would be someone else in the world who looked like him and felt the same way he felt. 

What about Dr. Frankenstein? Why did he want to create this monster? Somewhere in chapter two, he said that he created the monster because he wanted to. He said something like  “Creating life will make me like a god, then I can be the best that no one ever was.” (I’m paraphrasing a bit here, but a quote like this was in the book, I swear.) Maybe he thought he was God? I’m sure this is up to interpretation so I am just going to say that yes, Dr. Frankenstein is God on Earth. 

If Frankenstein was a book written today, it would probably be about someone who likes jazz or something, and wears skinny jeans. The author of this essay thinks that would totally ostracize him from the community today. 

In the end, Frankenstein is a good book that I definitely did read. Five out of five stars. Can’t wait for Frankenstein 2: Electric Boogaloo.

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