Study: Depression affects 10 out of 10 worthless people

A new study from a group of self-proclaimed “failure” scientists has found that 10 out of 10 waste of space human beings suffer from some sort of mental depression. This data was collected after a 12-year study in which all of these same scientists were the test subjects.

While they have not been able to explain why depression seems to be so common among so-called “pieces of trash excuses for humanity,” the scientists did say that information could probably be found by researchers who weren’t “utterly hopeless.” They also stated that decent scientists could’ve come to this conclusion after only a few hours instead of 12 years and that they should probably just go to bed and stop trying to do science. 

Was this article helpful?

LEAVE A REPLY

Block title

Metro-Con brings horror legends and cosplay to Convocation Mall

Something wicked came to SFU Convocation Mall the weekend of October 16–18, and that something was Metro-Con. The annual pop-culture convention “hosts celebrities and influential people in film, books, animation, entertainment, and more,” according to the Metro-Con website.  The convention featured many attractions and events, with daily opportunities for fans to meet celebrity guests and listen to panelists speak. On Friday, a Stars of Cosplay event brought five BC-based cosplayers to the main stage, including Dragonmight, a cosplayer who advocates for “mental health and suicide prevention awareness,” according to their Instagram. In the evening, an after-hours kickoff party took place, one of two Metro-Con After Dark events that weekend.  On Saturday at 5:30 p.m., the cosplay contest ensued at the main stage, the Diamond Family Auditorium....

Read Next

Block title

Metro-Con brings horror legends and cosplay to Convocation Mall

Something wicked came to SFU Convocation Mall the weekend of October 16–18, and that something was Metro-Con. The annual pop-culture convention “hosts celebrities and influential people in film, books, animation, entertainment, and more,” according to the Metro-Con website.  The convention featured many attractions and events, with daily opportunities for fans to meet celebrity guests and listen to panelists speak. On Friday, a Stars of Cosplay event brought five BC-based cosplayers to the main stage, including Dragonmight, a cosplayer who advocates for “mental health and suicide prevention awareness,” according to their Instagram. In the evening, an after-hours kickoff party took place, one of two Metro-Con After Dark events that weekend.  On Saturday at 5:30 p.m., the cosplay contest ensued at the main stage, the Diamond Family Auditorium....

Block title

Metro-Con brings horror legends and cosplay to Convocation Mall

Something wicked came to SFU Convocation Mall the weekend of October 16–18, and that something was Metro-Con. The annual pop-culture convention “hosts celebrities and influential people in film, books, animation, entertainment, and more,” according to the Metro-Con website.  The convention featured many attractions and events, with daily opportunities for fans to meet celebrity guests and listen to panelists speak. On Friday, a Stars of Cosplay event brought five BC-based cosplayers to the main stage, including Dragonmight, a cosplayer who advocates for “mental health and suicide prevention awareness,” according to their Instagram. In the evening, an after-hours kickoff party took place, one of two Metro-Con After Dark events that weekend.  On Saturday at 5:30 p.m., the cosplay contest ensued at the main stage, the Diamond Family Auditorium....