1. Golden Stars are not everything
There’s a lot more to life than just getting gold stars. Don’t spend too much energy obsessing over being the first in line or sitting the straightest, in the long run it won’t get you anywhere. In fact, it turns out these stars don’t do anything at all. In fourth grade we don’t even use them anymore, we have happy face stickers. Those are what really matter.
2. It’s okay if you pee your pants
In five years, no one’s going to remember who did and didn’t pee their pants in kindergarten. All they’ll remember is that someone did and it was really, really funny. Seriously, even if you know it was you, you can just lie and say it was some other kid. There’s no way to prove it, just ask my uncle, he’s a lawyer and told me so.
3. You are not a poopyhead
Really. That’s not even a good insult, I know the s-word now.
4. If they don’t want to pick you as goose, they aren’t worth it
If somebody isn’t going to take the time to make you the goose even once, forget them. Wait for someone who is willing to see you as more than just another duck. They’re out there, I promise.
5. How to count to 5
It’s really cool and helped me make this list. It’s a little tricky though, takes a while to remember that four comes before five.
