Content warning: discussions of suicide.
Checking in on your mental health should be a daily practice, not just something to return to during hardship. Suicide Prevention Month in September reminded us to acknowledge the risk of suicide among ourselves, friends, and family. But this should be an ongoing practice all year long.
Since it’s taboo, this topic can feel difficult to talk about. However, if nobody talks about suicide, then the stigma remains. Discussions about suicide do not encourage it. In fact, these conversations allow for the sharing of life-saving information and remind those who face suicidal ideation that they are not alone. So, even though it may feel comfortable to pretend that suicide doesn’t exist, it is ultimately much more dangerous to ignore it than to deal with the discomfort that comes with acknowledging it.
Discussions of suicidal thoughts shouldn’t be reserved for moments of urgency. You don’t need to wait for the psychological pain to accumulate to take suicide prevention measures like the creation of a personalized safety plan. Experts encourage people to have an easily accessible piece of paper with steps they can take when experiencing suicidal ideation since it can be hard to think clearly during these times.
Alongside general steps such as calling family or 911, the safety plan can include: contacts you can call, ways to keep yourself safe, how you know when you are triggered, and some helpful distractions. The last two categories require lots of time spent on introspection, which requires a calm state of mind. Otherwise, your perception of yourself might end up quite distorted. Recalling memories, thinking of your loves as motivation to stay alive, and checking in with all five senses are some ways to divert harmful thoughts. It is important to plan for potential struggles with suicidal ideation — thoughts and ideas of suicide — even when you are feeling fine.
Having a good sense of self benefits your mental health, so just the process of introspection involved in the making of the safety plan can potentially bring improvement to your emotional well-being. Knowing yourself helps you make decisions that align with your truest desires. While exploring your sense of self, you may stumble upon some unique coping mechanisms to help with the day-to-day.
My grandmother has always spoken to me about fairies and dragons as if they truly inhabit the same earth as us.
In my late teens, I discovered I can use the things I love to construct the way I see my life. My grandmother has always spoken to me about fairies and dragons as if they inhabit the same earth as us. I always felt so comforted when I stayed in her home filled with magical figurines and constant discussions of the fantastical elements of nature. It was such a safe space for me that I would cry endlessly when I had to “go back to the real world,” as my younger self would say.
One of the things I hated most about the “real world” was how no matter what I did, people would not accept me. Eventually, over some slow practice and lots of time feeling ridiculous about myself, I learned to carry my grandmother’s world with me by finding consolation from the trees and creek near my house. Sometimes, even just staring at the moss on a tree for long enough would be enough for me to feel a sort of connection with this magical world that I was a part of (especially once I started noticing those little star-shaped moss patterns).
At first, I thought I was too old to be going out into the forest and playing pretend with nature. Recently, I realized that every way of making sense of life is inaccurate somehow. To varying extents, we are always trapped in our own subjectivity. So, why not believe in a magical world? Why not lean on the powers of imagination?
It’s not always easy. Imagination cannot take away any problems. You cannot imagine a perfect family situation into existence, or a roof over your head. However, looking for magic in everything has allowed me to be more aware of the present moment, such as letting myself get enchanted by grass in the wind. Sometimes, there is not a bright side, but adding some magic to the hard things makes them easier to confront.
Maladaptive daydreaming describes a behaviour in which one spends excessive time daydreaming. It’s called this because it often reaches a point of struggling to be present and function in the real world. For example, it may become difficult to focus on a task or nurture relationships because there is too much interest in the fantasy world. While it can be a helpful way to cope with trauma, anxiety, or other mental health issues as it provides temporary escape and also ignites the imagination, it can also reach a point of compulsion. If you find that daydreaming negatively affects your relationships or executive function, it can be controlled using therapy.
Now that I’m older and less self-conscious, I have begun to share this magical lens with my friends, which brings my imagination into the concrete world just like my grandma did for me.
This method for coping may seem silly or unrealistic, but it has worked for me and taught me not to judge the way I cope. So, I encourage you to begin your exploration into what strange and unique techniques you can use that make life more bearable.
