There are times where I’m down so bad that the way letters are shaped mean more to me than what they spell. In moments like this, I have no one to blame but the certain fonts who have seduced me to the point of obsession. Hear me out about the following fonts.
Starting out with probably my favourite font of all time. Smooth yet geometric, it’s sexy but strong at the same time. Walsheim seems like the type to show up on a first date and bring you to one of those fancy dim lit Italian restaurants and greet you with a single red rose in their hand. I can already hear the saxophone intro of “Careless Whisper” by George Michael playing in the background. Ohh yeah.
It’s rugged. It’s bold. Permanent Marker is here to fix all of my problems without me ever needing to ask. I’m definitely expecting them to pull up with a rusty pickup truck, cigarette in hand (in the hottest way you could ever imagine). What more could you want? This font has undoubtedly mastered the art of nonchalance through its rough and careless streaks. Anyone who knows me knows that a nonchalant baddie makes me weak in the knees — they’re exactly my type.
There’s something about the girl-next-door vibe that gets my heart racing. This font is so cute . . . and swirly . . . and charming. I already know that the rizz from Rum Raisin will have me forgetting any other font in this world exists. I’m ready to get hit with the most flirtatious conversation that will keep me yearning against my windowsill counting down the days till I can catch a glimpse of those playful and curvy letters again. Something about those curves . . . so mischievous, and definitely ready to show me a good time. And unlike Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, this font writes in a style that gets me excited.
Classical and beautiful, it’s the most romantic font of them all. Garamond is the top choice for book publishing, the top choice for editorial design, the next thing they better be on the top of is me. There’s a reason why this font is so popular, everyone wants a piece of sultry elegance on their paper. Even though I’m trying to save the trees, Garamond is compelling me to print out pages and pages filled with their letters and cover every corner of my wall with them. I think that might be the only way I can find happiness.
A classy baddie. Imagine this — Amarante and I on a velvet couch, a glass of sparkling wine, and a long Saturday night ahead of us. This is basically all I need in life. There’s something so mysterious about this font, the kind of mystery that’d take 15 dates to try and figure out. They’re a little gothic . . . but that means they’ll talk font size with me all night long. Talk about revving my engine.
