By: Cynthia Piña, Peak Associate
Content warning: mentions of biphobia.
Sometimes it feels like bisexuals have to fight multiple battles: the internalized homophobia within themselves, biphobia from society, and the biphobia from those who should be allies. Homophobia and transphobia are both real, distinctive, and intersectional. However, biphobia, for decades, has been brushed off as being unreal. The argument goes that because bisexuals may appear straight — they are privileged — and this erases many of the struggles that are unique to bisexuals.
Biphobia is rooted in specific myths related to bisexual people. These myths can include the idea that bi people are trying to be trendy or are more likely to cheat on their partner. Some lesbians say they won’t date bisexuals because they’ve “been with men,” they feel concerned that bisexual women will leave them, or just outright wouldn’t date a potential bi partner. Just like we shouldn’t judge straight partners for their sexual past (or lack thereof), queer people shouldn’t judge each other for theirs. Straight people also hold reservations about bisexuals and a 1996 survey found that 40% of straight people rated bisexuals as “less acceptable than lesbians” or gay men.
The same study quoted a post-secondary student who said, “I feel they are the people who spread AIDS. I think they should be either heterosexual or homosexual.” This isn’t an isolated incident, as this stigma is still being reported on in the 2010s. The reality is that bisexuals aren’t more likely to transmit AIDS, nor does their orientation say anything about whether or not they practice safe sex. While there is lacking recent research on bisexual people in comparison to other orientations, stigma related to bisexuality still persists today. The research that is available shows bisexual people are more likely to be suicidal, more likely to have chronic health issues, and more likely to experience intimate partner violence.
I battled within myself for years to accept that I loved women and would consider multiple genders as a romantic partner. However, part of the reason I stopped coming out to people was gay friends asking when I would date a woman, hearing off-hand comments about bi people not being queer without sexual or polyamorous experience, and straight friends commenting about “how great it must be to have access to threesomes.” It is exhausting, fetishizing, and if straight people know who they love without having to date them, then bi people should be allowed the same affordance.
Automatically believing that a couple who appears to be straight and cisgender, are actually straight and cisgender, assumes someone’s identity. The reality is that you will never know by looking at two people whether they are queer or not. Maybe both of them are bi. Maybe one or both of them are trans or non-binary. If people say they are bisexual, they are bisexual, and I’ve had enough of listening to both queer and straight people spew their prejudices about bisexual people.
Continuously, I’ve seen several examples where bi women are either harassed for liking men, harassed for exploring their identity, or “queerbaiting as lesbians.” While I’ve observed this over the years, I’ve noticed a particular spike in this behaviour just at the start of 2024. Unlike what Megan Fox once suggested in 2009, women are not “dirty” for liking men. Lesbians are not “cleaner” or “more pure” than bi women. Similarly, bi women are not “dirty” for liking women or other genders. While my experience centres on being a bi woman, I also acknowledge that bi men can face higher rates of stigma and are seen as “less acceptable” overall.
Bisexuality is a real orientation. Bisexual people often do face aspects of homophobia, in addition to biphobia. I’m not arguing that one is more oppressed than the other, but that we also face stigma and do not experience life as heterosexual people do. When we say we are facing barriers, please believe us.
