Over the last couple of years, this phenomenon called “bare minimum Twitter” has appeared. Men are put on a pedestal for performing the most mediocre of nice things for their significant other. Men and women of the Twitterverse will praise these most average of fellows to the nines, with responses ranging from “#goals” to “WIFE HIM!!!”
In November, Buzzfeed compiled a list regarding this situation called “15 Times Twitter Fell For Men Doing The Absolute Bare Minimum” showcasing Tweets from women who glorified these average men. Rear Front compiled a similar list with more of these infuriating Tweets.
I’m sorry, but we should not be glorifying men for being decent human beings. In a relationship, or hell, even a friendship, I wouldn’t applaud a guy for buying me fries if McDonalds is already on the way to my place (example #1 on the Buzzfeed list) or helping take my makeup off if I’m drunk off my ass (a guy did this and it racked up nearly 77,000 likes.)
I get it, we live in the age of fuckboys — AKA men who don’t give a shit about a woman’s feelings and are only dating her for sex. Compared to them, any man who does the slightest decent thing for his girlfriend is considered great.
However, just because fuckboys exist, doesn’t mean we should lower our standards for all men. By applauding every vaguely nice thing men do, we are directly telling them that they don’t have to try as hard in the relationship, that their bare minimum is enough. A relationship built on that foundation is unlikely to last long, because the woman will get fed up as shit — it’s also going to be so lacklustre that, frankly, she might not want it to last. In reality, both people in the relationship should be putting in the work and constantly challenging each other to do better.
Men should also not be praised for loving a woman who doesn’t fall into the standard size two standard of beauty. It’s as if a man is going ‘beyond the call of duty’ to like curvy women, and those who do so are knights in shining armour. Women should be seen as smart, hardworking, boss ass bitches who don’t need a man to feel validated. If a man is seen with a curvy woman, he’s not saving her from a life of solitude; she’s choosing to be with him out of love.
As a society, we not only lower our standards for men in terms of relationships, but also in their social and political views. Men are applauded for being against racism, sexism, and hatred. Men who actively denounce the Trump administration are seen as deviations from the norm. Especially white men.
When they discuss these issues to any degree, people view them as socially aware people, when in reality, they’ve barely cracked the surface of the issues at play. As the article states, “White men are the default, the blank slate of humanity.” When they stand up for women in any form, we automatically put them on a pedestal.
It’s 2018, people: we ought to hold men to a higher standard in everything they do. Firstly, quit praising men for doing the bare minimum in relationships, giving them a free pass to be shitty human beings. Being only marginally better than a fuckboy does not make you a good boyfriend. Secondly, can we stop applauding men, especially white men, simply for being against sexism, racism, and all the other -isms that worsen society? This year, let’s hold men to the same standard we hold women.
