When I returned home for a couple weeks at the end of summer, I distinctly remember a conversation my parents and I shared over the dinner table. We mulled over our lives, cracked sarcastic jokes at each other’s expense, and it was incredibly pleasant until my mother exclaimed, “I think the craziest thing Adam will do in his life is become a card-carrier!”
A ‘card-carrier’ is a slang term used for someone who has paid to be an official member of a political party; figuratively, they ‘carry a card’ emblazoned with their party loyalties.
I have a few card-carrying friends who proudly assert that they can now influence ground-level policy making, influence amendments to the party’s constitution, and feel heightened pride and purpose in taking action through their strong beliefs.
Sounds fun. But that dinner conversation left me with furrowed eyebrows and this weird little lip-sneer thing I do when I’m confused and upset. Why would an official party affiliation be the craziest thing I do?
I think it’s because politics is still very much a taboo in my parents’ household; the two rarely discuss political matters with each other, let alone their kid. Nevertheless, the discussion spurred on a thought process. Would I ever pay for the benefits of an ‘enhanced democracy?’ My thoughts lingered before I firmly concluded that I would not.
Soon after graduating high school I became a robust NDP supporter. My bedroom desk is embellished with orange. Socialist blogs unabashedly hoard my ‘frequently viewed sites’ list. And yes, I promptly voted ‘orange’ in the advance election on campus last week.
Needless to say, I’m not quiet about who I support. So, why wouldn’t I wave my wallet and pledge my allegiance to the beard?
Put simply, I will not risk segregating myself in a cage of ideological obligations and bloated party rhetoric. While my beliefs align most with the NDP, there are a definite number of orange views I simply don’t share.
To emphasize, I found myself drawn to, no — enthralled by Elizabeth May’s performance during the MacLean’s National Leaders debate. The issues she discussed, the quick, knowledgeable retorts she established with concrete facts, her overall genuine presence behind her podium; she killed it while leaving Harper to flail in his defensive bullshit, and Trudeau to speak in ambiguities on how he could feel Canada in his bones or something.
There have been numerous instances like this where I’ve felt as though I’ve abandoned my firm party allegiance, which has led me to question whether my allegiance is actually all that firm. Honestly, I’m a pretty emotional guy; the kind who is very cognizant of what he finds important. I envisioned myself as an active card-carrier, and while I know that one doesn’t have to agree with every party stance they belong to, I would have felt significant personal guilt in realizing I agreed with May for much of the debate.
Sure, Adam, you just haven’t made up your mind, you’re wishy-washy, you’re a political push-over! Well, I’d actually define myself as a strong NDP supporter, but not to the point that I risk becoming ignorant and unrealistic. The irony is that party devotion propels politics. Though if I marry myself to a single party, identify solely with that party, and argue to the ends of the earth its stances, I fear I might end up doing what many party advocates do: lie to themselves and spew bloated, useless crap all over the public sphere.
I don’t want to feel obligated to defend and argue all of one party’s positions because I’ve paid to theoretically be pitted against all the other parties. I don’t want to risk brainwashing myself into thinking that an orange label means I inherently believe everything that spills out of Mulcair’s mouth. This leads to all the petty unconscientious arguments, pandering, and thoughtless generalized rubbish you often see in the media and everywhere else.
Yes, I explicitly lean left, but I will never establish exactly where I lean even if all my beliefs do align with the NDP. Let’s be real, you never know which parties will impact you.
